Luk

Luk
Our family.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Dragon Boating




Oh, how I love thee, my very own paddle.

I LOVE this picture.  We are all SO ready to get out there!

They look so happy.  They both did such a great job.


And we're off.


 

 




 
 


What a fabulous event.  Huge THANK YOU to Bev for planning this event.  We loved it.  Bev, if you need help next year, you can count on me.  Fingers crossed this event will happen next year :)

There were 60 of us, 17 FCC families.  We had no idea what we were in for.  I have to admit I was surprised the boats weren't anything like we've seen before, thought they'd have heads and tails as in China and at the races we've seen.  We quickly got over that and just got into the day.  The instructors were awesome.  Great with the kids and kept the whole thing fun.  I haven't been in the Gorge for a very long time, I was there as a teen and it was quite polluted.  Now it's just beautiful, serene, clean, tons of folks paddling in kayaks and canoes.  The park we went to was great, lots of walking trails and just really truly beautiful.  I already can't wait to go back.  We got to paddle around a rock with a mama seal nursing her cub!  Jia was beside herself and talked and talked through it all with all of us shushing her.  Just can't contain that kind of excitement. 

Jia thought we were going fishing but the moment someone handed her a paddle she was ready to paddle!  Twice her size and half her weight but darned if she didn't paddle the entire time we did!  I had visions of capsizing with 20 people, with Jia wanting to stand and move around, of Jia falling over board, of Jia hitting us with her paddle, of me having to beg everyone to take Jia and I back to shore.  I'm happy to report none of that happened.  She totally knew what was going on, stayed attentive and did as we were told all along the way.  She was even tapping her paddle on the side in a rythm with us. 

Lili and Willow got to sit up front together and they set the pace for the whole boat.  They did a wonderful job. 

Fei was behind me so I didn't see too much of her but she was smiles when I did glance back.

At the end of our lesson and paddle, our groups three boats lined up and had a race.  Our boat the Golden Dragon won!  How fun.

It was a full day, picnic lunch, paddle, snack and visit, play at Shannon and Ken's, dinner out and another group play at a park.  Jia was wiped and slept as soon as we got in the van.

It's Monday, anyone want another video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cunwPb0CZZA&feature=relmfu

Friday, August 24, 2012

A pretty good synopsis of China adoption today.

Love Without Boundaries

Understanding The Current Situation in China's Orphanages

First posted on www.chinaadoptiontalk.blogspot.com by Malinda

 
"Amy first talked about the immense changes in China adoption in the past 10 years. The landscape has changed considerably from the days when Chinese orphanages were filled with healthy infant girls who had been abandoned because of the government's one child policy and the social preference for boys. Now, the orphanages are filled with special needs kids, many critically ill. She reported that 98% of newly abandoned children in China have serious medical needs, which explains why 60% of adoptions in 2010 were special needs adoption.
Why the significant change? First, she said, there has been a growth in more modern attitudes about girls. It is really only in the rural areas that the social preference for boys remains. Ten years ago, 85% of the Chinese population lived in rural areas. Now, only 50% are rural, 50% urban. With that urbanization has come more education, the internet, and the like, which has led to more modern attitudes. Second, there has been growth in the availability of ultrasound technology. Now, anyone who is pregnant can know the child's sex. Anyone who carries a girl to term does so knowingly and with every intention of parenting her. Those who want a boy instead will have an abortion.
Third, domestic adoption in China is growing rapidly. That's caused in part by the public interest in adoption after all the news reporting about the orphans of the Sichuan earthquake. And another factor is the increased rate of infertility in China. One government agency estimates that as many as 40 million couples in China are infertile. Infertility is skyrocketing because of increased premarital sex without much sex education, causing increased rates of STDs and frequent abortions that might be less than sterile and because of environmental toxins and pollution. Domestic adoption is preferred by orphanage directors, because domestic adopters pay higher fees than international adopters. In Guangzhou, domestic adopters pay fees of $15,000 to the orphanage; in Hefei, the fee is $7,000 for domestic adopters. Most adoptions are handled on the county or provincial level, even though the CCAA now has a national office of domestic adoption. Orphanages just don't send the files of healthy infants for international adoption when they can place the child domestically.
So, for these three reasons, there are fewer and fewer healthy infant girls available for international adoption. And there has been skyrocketing abandonment of special needs children. One reason for that is the increase in children in China born with birth defects. Birth defects in China have increased 40% since 2001. It is estimated that 1 in 8 to 10 children born in China have birth defects. There are a number of theories about why the rate of birth defects is so high in China, but most believe it is environmental exposure -- after all, in a recent list of the 20 "dirtiest" cities in the world, 16 of them were Chinese cities. In one area of Shaanxi Province, where there is considerable coal production and other environmental hazards, it's reported that the birth defect rate is 85%.
Special needs children get abandoned because of the stigma associated with disabilities and/or because of medical costs. Extended family, espcially the mother-in-law, will insist that a disabled child be abandoned becasue the child is considered unlucky, a curse on the family. Children with visible disabilities will be refused education, and when they grow up will have difficulty finding a job. Medical costs can be too high for a family to bear -- there is no health insurance, no free health care in China. All health care has to be paid for up front. Even if you're in an accident, you won't be treated until your family shows up to pay the bill first. There are no emergency rooms in China. Poor families will abandon their children in the hopes that they will receive health care in the orphanage. Amy said LWB has to be careful about media reports in China, because if there is a story about them doing medical work in an area there's a sharp spike in the abandonment of special needs kids there. She also talked about my FAVORITE fund at LWB, the Unity Fund, which provides free life-saving medical treatment so that poor families don't have to abandon a sick child. I think we all know that adoption is not the solution to the orphan crisis, only preventing children from being orphaned in the first place will solve it.
So how has the increase in special needs abandonment affected orphan care in China? Think about how overwhelmed nannies might be with a room full of healthy kids to take care of. Now think how overwhelming it would be with the same nannies with the same training or lack thereof and the same resources taking care of a roomful of special needs kids. Amy talked about walking into a typical orphanage "baby room" and thinking it should be a hospital ward instead. Nannies will also have the same fear of "unlucky" disabled children as others in China, and may not want to care for a child with albinism or a visible disability.
Two of the biggest needs, then, are education/training for orphanage staff and financial resources. LWB does both. Some of their training is with orphanage directors to help them prepare files on special needs kids to submit for adoption. They sometimes have to encourage the directors to submit files, since the directors will harbor the belief that no one would want to adopt a child with particular disabilities. They also help them make the files more appealing, like encouraging them to have the children smiling in their referral picture, something that culturally isn't the norm in China. Amy related that she told a group of 100 directors in a meeting that it was especially important for the boys to be smiling, since Americans were less willing to adopt boys. She said the room simply erupted in disbelief. They absolutely couldn't believe that girls would be preferred to boys! The directors are still more likely to submit files on boys than girls.
The poorest orphanages in China might get from the government only $25 per child per month, and formula could cost $20 per child per month. Then there is salaries for nannies, power, clothes, other food, and there isn't much left over for medical care. Those orphanages that haven't done international adoptions don't have loyal parents who are willing to help out; adoptive parents want to help their child's orphanage.
The CCAA has two initiatives for medical treatment of special needs kids, but both have their limitations. First is the Tomorrow Plan which provides surgeries for orphans. They've funded 6,000 cleft surgeries alone since its inception in 2004. But it takes too long to process applications, so it can't help children who are in immident need for surgeries or other medical treatment. The plan also designates the hospitals the orphanage must use, and in some areas, the orphanages refuse because they feel the designated hospital is inadequate. The second program is the Blue Sky Initiative. China is building mega-orphanages that can house 600 children, and has on-site medical care and therapy. But there are none in rural areas. And, in places with such mega-orphanages, they are pulling children out of foster care to return them to the orphanage. Amy says they are watching closely to see if there are worse outcomes for children no longer in foster care.
Even with these initiatives and with all LWB and other orphan care organizations can do, Amy said that adoption into a loving home does more for a child than anything else. In China there is a significant stigma about being an orphan. In many areas, orphans cannot go to school outside the orphanage, and in the areas where they can go, they go to the worst schools. They won't be admitted into better schools because parents won't pay for their children to go to school and sit next to an orphan. Companies wouldn't hire an orphan, either, since orphans are considered bad luck. LWB paid for the schooling for the first orphan in Guangzhou to go to and graduate from college. She earned a degree in accounting, and couldn't find a job because employers were afraid that she would bring bad luck to the financial bottom line. She eventually found a job with a foreign company. Another orphan who graduated teacher's college was hired by LWB because no one else would.
Amy also said that adoptive parents need to be prepared before adopting. When they have seen disruptions of adoption in China -- where adoptive parents decide not to go through with a special needs adoption even before returning home -- it's usually because they have not been adequately prepared. She received a call from a family who had switched from the NSN program to the special needs program to adopt a cleft child who had been an LWB child. LWB had repaired her lip, though her palatte repair needed to be done when she was older. Amy knew the child was perfectly healthy, chubby, interactive -- everything you'd want from a institutionalized child. The dad said to her, "Do you know that when she drinks her bottle, milk comes out of her nose?" Duh, yes, Amy knew that and the family would have known that if they had read ANYTHING about cleft-affected children.
Finally, Amy talked about orphanage conditions that adoptive families need to be aware of, so they can understand some of the issues their children may face.
First, as to attachment, APs need to be aware that children may have had numerous changes in caretakers. A child might spend time with birth parents, especially since there's been an increase in older-child abandonment in China. Then the child might spend time with the person who found her, who thought she might keep the baby before the neighbors or extended family said she wouldn't be allowed to.So the child is turned over to the police, who might keep the child for a few days before turning the child over to the orphanage. The child might be in quarantine for a month at the orphanage who is trying to avoid the spread of HIV or Hep C. Then the child enters the young infant room, and then in a few months to the older infant room, and then the toddler room or foster care. And the child in foster care may be returned to the orphanage for two weeks before the adoptive parents come. With a special needs child who might have had hospitalizations and/or surgeries, the child would likely be alone at the hospital through all of this. The orphanage can't spare the nanny who might have been the primary caregiver, so they might send a groundskeeper to take the child to the hospital and then leave her alone. In Chinese medicine, there is a great reluctance to give children pain medication, so post-operative time will be painful and scary for a child alone. All of this affects attachment.
Second, children may have feeding issues. Overcrowded orphanages don't have the time to hand-feed children, so bottles are propped and often boiling hot. Solid food is beyond the resources of the orphanage, and most orphanages can't afford meat. Newborns might wait 5-6 hours between feedings. Infants might wait 12 hours. There won't be between-meal snacks for toddlers or older children. Children are often hungry all the time, never feeling full. From this, you can expect aversion to certain food textures, no ability to suck, food hoarding, gorging, no off-switch when eating because no feeling of being full.
Third, children might experience "irrational" fears that aren't so irrational after all. They would often be alone in the dark at night, with only a skeleton orphanage staff on hand. There might be bugs and rats in the dark. Fear of the dark, of thunderstorms, of animals, of bugs, are not irrational fears for these children. Adoptive parents can't know what their children experienced in the orphanage, so must be understanding of these fears."

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Night of Sevens


We bought his cd, Eric put it on this morning, it's lovely.

Pure joy at playing with her Kalum.

Gorgeous group of kids!

We met with friends in Chinatown last night to celebrate the Night of Sevens, Chinese version of Valentines Day.  We had lots of fun, it was great to be in a large group, kids always love that the best.  Jia was beyond thrilled, spending time with 'her Kalum' and Emily in one event.  Doesn't get better than that.  Ended up with a late dinner, restaurants in Chinatown were not equipped to deal with our group of 34, 20 maybe one of them said.  So we reserved at the Purple Garden and they gave us a private area so the kids were free to make noise and run around.  Jia and Emily totally took advantage of that :)  They had a blast.  The big girls all sat nicely at their table and talked and talked and talked.  I remember days when they were all over the place too. 

This weekend, we're going to learn about Dragon Boats and go for a paddle in them!  We're all pretty excited about that!

We took the mini-van last night, very comfortable.  Fei and Jia sat in the captains chairs, Fei played with her phone, Jia played with her Leapster and Lili sprawed on the back bench with a book.  Eric thought the girls would miss tv on a longer drive but they didn't seem to. 

The Great Outdoors


In a normal summer we get out and do something every day.  This summer has been um a little different than usual :)  We are still getting out and about but it seems like a whole lot more work to get there.

We met with my side of the family at a new to us spot on the river.  Al and I joined everyone from work.  We were woefully unprepared for the walk in.  No one knew there was a trail so humped all of the picnic/swim stuff over rocks which is tough walking.  Then had to traverse the river in three spots to get there.  I didn't want to wear wet shoes all day so tried taking them off and doing it barefoot which was painful.  Eventually gave up and got my feet wet.  I'm a shade worshipper so when the area was choosen at the top of a mound in full sun it was a bit tough for Lili and I.  I was melting and sooooo close to just getting in the river and dealing with wet clothes at work.  It was a beautiful swimming hole and the girls and I want to take Eric and Isabel there but we'll be MUCH better prepared.  Oh, and as I'm crossing the river, worried about falling in, I was calculating the cost of electronics on us.  Three $500 dollar smart phones and one camera $500, a mere $2000 at risk.  I put our phones in a food container for the hike back.




Every year we camp at a tiny lake in the boonies.  You can drop in there if you know about it but we reserve using the secret phone number, this year I left it too late and we didn't get a water spot.  It was ok camping in the bush, the walk to the lake was short.  We managed.  I missed the view though so will be reserving much earlier next year!  The girls like to fish there.  No one has ever caught a fish there.  It's a warm lake and the lake is stocked but they are down deep, there is a 90 foot area where the spring is and they are all there.  It's peaceful there.  Jia had stitches so I managed to keep her busy all weekend and avoided swimming with her.  Weather was ok, not fabulous and she would have been cold and only swam for a short time anyways.  Big girls swam for hours and hours.  More hours and hours catching newts and fishing from the dock.  Fei sits quiet as can be leaning over the dock and when the newts/salamanders come up for air she just grabs them.  Too funny.  I'd rather they didn't torture the little guys but they've literally grown up watching kids do this there and it's like a rite of passage.  They very graciously all showed them to the little kids and you just know that those kids can't wait to be big enough to swim under the dock with nets to catch them for themselves.  We haven't been doing story time while camping and I went ahead and read to all of the girls, they didn't seem too interested at first, I reminded them about all of the campfire story times they've enjoyed and then they paid attention, Jia loved it.  She couldn't believe we were enjoying Shiney Dinah with the big girls, outside, at the fire.  So sweet.  On our last day there I attempted taking Jia's stitches out, got two and the third was under scab so I called nurse Penny.  The second Penny was on the scene the older kids were right there.  I ran to get the camera to capture that!  They were all a little in disbelief that Penny and I were doing this ourselves.  I recall camping at Kissinger with Penny doing after surgury packing care with me in our old trailer, many years ago, the girlies don't remember that.  Really, really shocking how fast this summer is going by.  We're are NOT ready to head back to school. 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Anyone ready for another video?

Another Love Without Boundries video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bBIEF-j7Jc&feature=relmfu


Not too much going on at our place.  Spending time with friends.  Getting lots of swimming in.  Trying to find some lazy summer moments.  We're camping this weekend.  In the wilds.  No cell reception,  I'm not keen about that part.  We go to this little lake every year.  Kids favorite.  Tiny campsite, tiny beach, tiny lake.  Water is warm and clean.  Nothing to do but swim or fish.  No bikes or hikes, no where to go, nothing much to explore.  Short walks with Isabel.  Hoping to sleep in and read some books, we'll see what Jia allows :) 

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Fei's Gotcha Day


Eight years ago today on a very hot and humid day in Nanchang, Jiangxi, we walked into a room looking for our toddler Fei and were promptly handed the littlest baby.  She was wearing just a onsie, was very shy and then very mad.  She fought me with everything she had to get away from me.  I held on with all I had while trying to pay attention to the paperwork details.  I'll never know why the paper details have to be so closely attached to the hand off moment.  We took her to our room and she calmed down and let Eric change her diaper.  We marveled at how beautiful she was, were stunned at how small she was and worried like crazy about her lack of muscles and delayed appearance.  How far our wee girl has come!  We love you like crazy cakes Missy Fei Fei. 

We have friends over for dinner and a swim tonight and Fei chose her dessert, strawberries dipped in chocolate.  Looking forward to those! 

Another LWB video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo09YQMAYJw

This one about feeding cleft babies and how vunerable they are. 

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Video from Love Without Boundries

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ijggNs2Ask&feature=youtu.be

Awwwww....

PT Cruiser for sale






Anyone know anyone looking for a great little car?

Worth a shot.

2003 PT Cruiser, Standard, 96000km, air, cruise, tilt steering, power locks, one year old set of winter tires included, $5000 obo.  shelnel@blforest.com

Monday, August 13, 2012

Mini-vans


Ok, ok, ok, I know I've never wanted one before.  I've often said the kids fit just fine in my little car and I prefer suv's.  But, times change.  Maybe it's the gray hair, but I'm really, really excited about the new family transporter that Eric just made a deal on today for me!  Yes folks, the Nelson's are buying a mini-van!  It's almost like one of those inevitable things in life that is finally just happening for us.  Always slow starters. 

Everyone who knows us would know how much I HATE car shopping and how much Eric LOVES it.  One of those areas that we are totally opposite about.  So, I grudgingly said 'if I have to have one, this is my list'.  I'm not sure how much hunting he did but the kids have been grumbling.  On Sat. he took me to look at one that fit my required description including colors inside and out.  I sat in it and said 'oh ya' this is my car'.  Big girls and I left Eric and Jia at the lot and took off, we cranked the radio and made lots of jokes about rocking the mini-van.  Seriously though, man is it ever a nice car to drive, total comfort and a ton of space, I might finally see why all of my friends love their mini-vans so much.  We wasted a few more hours looking at stuff that was close but not it.  I spent some time on-line to approve the price range and Eric made the deal today.  I think we pick it up tomorrow. 

 

Stitches for Jia


She was still a bit scared here, but moments later she was playing all over the place and as happy as could be.



It's all fun until someone gets hurt.  This time the tom-foolery hurt Jia.  Hit her head on a piano leg.  Scary amount of blood.  Cut was only 3/4" long but deep.  So, off to emergency I went with Lili and girlfriend Debbie.  Lili was such a great nurse, running all over getting everything I asked for, wipes, kleenex, cold clothes, water, barretts, shoes for me and Jia, diapers etc.  We got there at 8:30 and were home by 11.  Everyone stayed up and we had Asia's 6th Birthday celebration at 11, bed at midnight. 

Jia was a tropper about being at the hospital.  It was decided that she should have sleepy juice because she was so active the Dr. didn't think she'd tolerate stitches.  Twenty minutes later she was bouncing off the walls so she got a second dose of sleepy juice.  I let the nurse know she was starting to sway and we moved her to the procedure room.  Lili was front and center telling the Dr. she wants to be a Dr. one day, he asked her how her grades were and she proudly said 'all A's'.  He grinned at her and told her to keep up the good work.  Jia layed still the whole time, whispered a couple owes and then leaped into my arms when it was done and happily said 'Goodbye Doctor'. 

So, mine and Eric's biggest problem of the day is that we don't have a family Doctor.   Our clinic closed suddenly and I tried for three weeks before Lili and I left for China to get a new Doctor.  We applied to several clinics but when we got home still hadn't heard from any of them.  Admitting wrote that we didn't have a Dr. and the Dr. at the hospital asked how that had happened and I told him the whole story.  I told him we really need one if we're going to consider another adoption.  Both he and the nurse with him are adoptive parents and he said he knew a Dr. that might consider taking us all on.  Turns out his wife is a Dr. and she isn't taking new patients but he gave me her number and told me the magic words to use :)  So, the red threads continue to abound.  It's a shame Jia had to be hurt but it was minor in the scheme of things, she's fine and we got a family Dr. 

Friday, August 10, 2012

Kitchen again.



Spent my Friday evening decorating the new shelves.  Thank you, thank you Eric! You did an amazing job of building my vision.



Thursday, August 9, 2012

Little Guy Update

I called Jack last night and let him know that Eric and I want to sponsor Little Guy for his lip repair surgury.  He told me he would have him moved to the Fuzhou Healing House.  I looked it up and that is a Love Without Boundries home!  An Amy Eldridge project.  They have a whole floor dedicated to helping cleft kids.  Trained nannies and they work in partnership with the hospital in Fuzhou.  Marg at Sunrise told us that Children's Hospital's cleft team says the work they do is amazing.  We're so happy for Little Guy that he is getting this amazing opportunity.  His life is changing and he has no clue.  Sob, more and more and more tears.  I'm just so completely thrilled that he'll be getting fed and cared for by such an amazing group of people. 

http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/programs/healing-homes/true-childrens-healing-home/

http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/

http://www.lwbcommunity.org/



New Kitchen and Homecoming


While I was gone, Eric finished the kitchen!  He also put in a french door in our kitchen to the side yard, put a door into the garage with a window in it, put a saftey hinge on the kids toy box on the front deck, hung flower baskets on the front deck, finished the ceiling on the front deck, hung magic mesh on the back door, the house was spotless, laundry was all done, fridge was stocked with all of our favorite foods, he had fresh fruit and milk for Lili and I when he picked us up and when we got home we found out he'd baked us a chocolate cake too!  What a homecoming.  Mr. Eric has lots of brownie points stocked up now!

Lili is already onto Cdn. time.  I'm still struggling, wide awake at 1:30 and starving.  Much easier coming home from China without a baby though :)

I just loaded the rest of the trip photos on the last blog entry from China.

Everyone keeps asking if we had a good time.  Hard to say.  Will take some time to process the trip.  We literally had Govt. officials with us for the whole trip.  The first week, there were officials, tv camera's and reporters.  The second week adoption and civil affairs officials.  It wasn't quite the trip we had planned and envisioned to say the least and at the same time it was so much more than we thought it would be. 

Jia was pretty darn happy to have her Momma home!

Wonder if Jenny thinks giving us the stick eye while laying in Lili's suitcase will keep us home?

Miss Fei had a wonderful time at camp, we're so proud of her managing on her own for the whole thing.  She loved tubing.  Right now she is spending every minute she can in the pool.  Part fish that kid!

Lili has been talking about archery since we saw Brave.  Eric bought her a kid size set and gave it to her when we got home.  She was beyond thrilled. 


We stuck around home for most of the weekend but went to the Forest Museum on BC Day.

Jia seriously loves trains, she was delighted.

Bye, bye train.


Friday, August 3, 2012

Back In Canada

Flew out no problem.  Storm passed through the night. Air Canada was great, had my fears re: past flights but all was great. Watched three movies, wasn't too hot. It's sooooo nice to be back. No crazy heat, normal humidity. Just called Eric to let him know what ferry we'll be on. He had just picked up Fei, who had a fabulous time at summer camp. Can't wait to hold Jia and hear all about camp. Get to see my new kitchen too!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Typhoon

Oh, fingers crossed big time that we can fly out tomorrow.  Not good out there at all.  We just went outside just to feel the wind.  There are waves of water on the ground.

We're at an airport hotel, we're stuck here for dinner.  Lili had spaghetti, I had potato gnochi.  Yum.  First time we've been full in two weeks.  Very pricey though.

We didn't get shopping time so we were happy to find a decent gift shop here at the hotel.

Can't wait to see Jia, Fei and Eric!

Lili here - Can't wait to get home.  Very good dinner tonight.  See you soon Daddy, Fei, Jia and Jenny.soo

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Shanghai

No internet here at the hotel. Refuse to pay their price. Not much for happenings today. Pedi cab tour of old Long Yan, met Jacks Dad. Sweet old man. Then drove to Xiamen, said goodbye to Jack. Arrived Shanghai and got a cab to our hotel no problem. Shanghai is a seriously big city. Over 30 million people. It doesn't interest us much, seen more than enough of cities now. We have to move hotels tomorrow. Planning to sleep in and move over leisurely. Jack told us this morning that the Director of Changting SWI has agreed to submit files for the three kids. He is placing their finding add now. Small steps. It's been exciting hanging with Jack and we're ready to relax a bit.