And Again.

 

Yesterday was doctor appointments for both Eric and I.  Clear fluids for me all day, so not even a lunch out.  We went to the Langford  Restore hoping for a dresser or sideboard and found this instead.  Pink roses.  Someone is speaking to me, pink roses keep showing up in my world even more than usual. Eric hasn't decided yet how he is hanging it in the closet/dressing room.  What he needs is more projects ;) 

Up bright and early to Royal Jubilee for the next procedure.  Took our coats off to wait and found we were twinning.

I was told by the surgeon that he was looking at the lay of the land today.  Then I was told by the previous surgeons staff that this was to clean up the cancer biopsy margins.  So, I felt deceived and mistrusting.  Fearful of more cutting.  Huge dread for today.  Then at the part where nurses do iv's and get me ready for surgery I was told no sedation today.  I signed the release form for biopsies.  So I was definitely a bit terrified being wheeled in.

Then, it turned out to actually be just a scope.  No sedation.  No needles.  No cuts. No biopsies. I got to watch.  I did keep my eyes closed for most of it.  I did open them when a nurse exclaimed "Oh my  gawd! Is that a fistula?!".  So, I saw it.  It looked pink and healthy and innocuous.  Go figure.  Such a troublesome little thing.

He was about 20 minutes looking around.  It wasn't the worst.  I'd rather not repeat it though.  My bumble is very unhappy now.

We stopped at Costco for my comfort poutine.  Then shopped for a little bit because we were there and I was feeling fine.  We bought a Ninja blender, to chop up frozen fruit for the Ninja Creamy.  We're invested in getting me sugar free icecream :)  

Then while eating (standing up, stupid Costco) I was suddenly faint.  Head swimming, hearing muffled, eyesight dark, knees wobbly.  Poor Eric.  He ran for our cart, came back to get me and hooked me on the cart.  I trudged out slowly.  Oh my.  It was very sudden.  We have zero idea what it was or why.  I felt perfectly fine after sitting in the car for a few minutes. I didn't have my testing kit there.  Sugars are fine here now.

The boys put away groceries.  Luk helped me with pet chores.  Eric shooed me up to bed.  It's like getting put in time out.  Eric has escaped to his garage.  I can hear metal work tools. 

Dr Dennie called this morning.  The tumors in the uterus are benign.  The labia tumor is endometrial again.  We are still waiting for pap results.  So that was all good news for today. 

Camping in Spring Break

 

A day trip to Deep Bay to see the California Sea Lions.

They were extremely entertaining.

Overall they were lounging but there was constant movement happening somewhere and their facial expressions were priceless.

We should have packed a lunch and hung out longer.  

People were definitely too close.  We were definitely too close.  They look soooo much like you could just go pet them or snuggle down with them. Obviously I resisted ;)

Respect to the naps all cuddled with your crew.  

So sweet.

Walks in Rathtrevor.  We had a few.  The ocean trail is such a favorite.

Sassy looked at Eric longingly and he carried her.  I was nagging him to make her walk.  She needs to slim down.  

Coco is 5.4lbs

Sassy is 6.4 lbs and she has a smaller frame.

I needed another antique Chinese pail. One can never have enough.

I got a call this morning booking surgery number 5 for Apr 13.  I still haven't found the surgical prep shower sponges I need for #4 on Thursday so we went into Parksville and the first pharmacy we hit had them.  So I got the four I needed and two more on spec.  Duncan seems sold out.  7 places waiting for shipments.

Then we had time to kill so we hit a couple thrift and antique stores.

Luk stayed at the trailer with the dogs.  Kai seems to like shopping.  He picked out a couple dvds and a green stuffed dinosaur wearing bunny ears :)  

Score, elderly bears who are best friends. Beatrice and 

Then I got another call booking me into the diabetes clinic tomorrow so I headed back home early so I could pick up the insulin pens before the pharmacy closed.  Look what is in Superstore right now!  I know.  I have to go back.  Clearly I need more Snoopy wear.  They didn't give me needles?  So, I couldn't dose myself tonight.  I have no clue why I have to go to the clinic tomorrow.  I'm fairly certain it is almost the same as dosing ozempic.

It will be a long day.  Diabetes lesson, lab work and then a dialated eye test.  All such fun stuff.

Eric found me a pillow today.  It is so soft and squishy.  Grogu will help me get comfy on the imposed down time.

Eric did an advanced trail day on his own.  I had serious fomo.  I mean look what they found!

7 rigs, all very capable.  They had a great day and it sounds like I might have been hiking a good chunk of the day avoiding challenges that are too steep or off camber for my comfort.

Uh oh.  Lili got puppy furred.  Big time.  Bet she was regretting helping me with the puppers.

Coco and Sassy were fabulous little campers.  Zero issues.  

Seeing the boys tower over her never gets old.  Haha.

Lili took me and the boys to get a donut.  It was so cold in the campground.  It was great to get into the sun.

I'm home, got myself through a yucky stool sample kit/test.  I'm showered and ready to get up early tomorrow and get on with it all.

Funny thing, or stressful.  I was booked for the 5th surgery but I had no idea what it was for.  The booking fellow wasn't tremendously helpful.  I got an email three hours later.  I was panicking that it was for the proctectomy but thankfully no.  It's a general biopsy of the two tumors spotted on the pet scan.  They don't light up but have to come out.  

I had to ask Fei what the difference is between general and sedated because they seem identical to me.  Same procedure getting into the surgical rooms.  Same number of people working on me. Same iv in etc.  Basically General gets intubated.  They feel the same to me re waking up and recovery.

#4 and #5 are at Royal Jubilee.

#4 is to fix up the actual cancer margins.  

Awareness

 

Hmmm.  Not what I want to be bringing awareness to, but it is what it is.

Still learning.  I thought my warrior ribbon was blue for colorectal but nope, anal is green and purple.

Also, random, a year ago I saw a medium at a local teahouse with a girlfriend.  She told me I had health issues and I was doing everything right and that I would be fine.  Then she asked me about dragonflies and what they meant to me.  I said they meant nothing.  She said soon they will present themselves.  Sigh.  Here they are.  

Rathtrevor

I played yesterday so today I had to catch up.

Both girls got haircuts and toe done.  Then they joined me in the shower. For the first time ever I did it all on my own.  Beginning to end. Of course this probably sets a precedence and I'm on my own forever more.  

Typically Eric holds them a bit to make it easier, he grabs them with towels to dry off and he cleans up the mess while I give them baths.

It was a lot of work and fuss getting out of there today.  The 1st trip each year always is.  

We did pretty good. My list of supplies to be replenished to Eric is short.

Look at them, walking like real dogs.

That woman needs to brush her hair ;)

It's pretty but frightfully cold.

Angel babies.

 

Score

When your moody teen that hates leaving the house says he wants to go to the thrift store, the bakery and out for lunch with you, you drop all of your plans and go!

This is Clara the nurse.

I'm definitely going to keep the Boyds theme for the closet/dressing room except the shelf built for them is up too high so I'm waiting for a buffet with a glass section to display them where I can see them and they won't  need as much dusting.  The universe will provide.  I found one I love but it has a mirror that will block some window.  I'm OK with that but Eric isn't as sure.  Patience.

This one is funny.  The round ones are the current coasters.  They match the living room but they're trashed.  I always have a look in the thrift but I never see anything I like as much.  Today I got a set of 8 squares for .50 cents.  Haha.  I'm laughing at home.  I knew they were similar but not identical.

A bow tie, neck tie, ring and plaid shirt for Jia.  A green shirt for me.  Two pairs of pants, a bathing suit and a pair of Mountain Equipment travel quick dry shorts for Kai.  Once home, I claimed one of his pants and Eric is claiming the shorts ;)  Lastly, two big fluffy blue pillows for Cheese, so we can prop up to watch dvds.  

Jia got his Ramen while I got a call from Dr. Smith's receptionist.  I got in with a Gastrointestinal doctor.  The appointment is in 3 weeks.  He wants bloodwork and a stool sample three weeks before.  So we backtracked and went to the lab.  It took a half hour to line up just to get the kit to bring home.  I have to do the bloodwork and bring in the sample on Tuesday.

I did realize last night that it was time to book the Father's Day camping weekend at Little Qualicum and I scored a river site.  Fingers crossed we'll get to be there.

The calendar just keeps filling up while we don't know anything yet.  It's so hard feeling comfortable with booking things.

I also booked a weekend at Gordon Bay for our 34th Anniversary.

Oh, and today I went in the safe to get Kai's Canadian Citizenship Certificate and found his SIN Certificate.  Head bonk.  Yup. He didn't ever get a 'card'.  The boys both got paper certificates.  So it wasn't lost afterall.  When I turned the file over I had to laugh because written in four inch letters and circled in a different color are the words 'Kai's Sin CERT'.  I spent a week digging all over for his stupid missing card. 

I came home with Jia around 2:30.  Starving, still on my fast to find Eric outside in a dither.  The camp chairs and my couch molded over winter.  They're Kuma.  I just hung my head and trudged in the house.  Things break in 3's.  Always.  So microwave, vacumn and chairs.  

Eric did a scrub with a mold and mildew cleaner and power washed them.  Right now they're in the garage with three heaters on them.  Fingers crossed.

Eric wasn't impressed with the wimpy new vacumn.  I keep trying to remember to tell him it has stronger speeds but they kill the battery faster.  I finally remembered this afternoon.  It does indeed have different levels and it works just fine.

I'm bleeding again this afternoon.  It comes and goes.  I should probably call someone or at least set my butt down and freaking rest.

Eric has made a big meal for us tonight.  All 7 of us are home for dinner! My new favorite camping pants stolen from Kai are in the laundry.  The trailer is mostly ready.  Eric shopped and loaded the groceries.  Luk packed for him and Kai.  The only part left is sorting the dogs things tomorrow.  Their three camp beds were in the garage.  Eric brought them in and washed them today.  Now I get the horrible job of picking which two to pack.  Sob.  I think Finn's and Sassy's for the trailer and Lacie's/Coco's old bed upstairs for Esmei.  Man I miss Finn.  He loved camping so much.

On that note.  Jia and I were walking in Chemainus and we passed a yard with a Chihuahua puppy at the fence.  We stopped to say hi.  He is a merle with blue eyes.  Oh my word.  So cute!  And no, we are absolutely NOT getting another little dog.  

Sigh

 

I don't have a duck problem.  Haha.

Eric was very committed to finding all of them and didn't squack at how many I just couldn't leave behind. 

  Cinderella, Donald, Moana and Pua are still there.  We found Shaggy but no Scooby.  But now I know there is a Scooby Duck.  Oh, and we found Beaker.  Does this mean all of Seasame Street is in duck form too?  I mean, an Oscar Duck for Eric with other ones to hand out from Oscar would be too much fun.

Finding joy.

One moment at a time.

They aren't all for me.

Buzz and Woody are mine!

The villains might stick around for spooky month.

There is a Transformer duck in the back row that is for Kai's Easter stash.  He will be sooo excited.  He lost his last couple ducks.  He packs them everywhere until they're missing ;)

Today's couch buddy.

It's been a busy morning.

An eye appointment first for me.  Then to Service Canada to get Kai's sin card replaced.  We've lost his card.  I needed his number for a form.  We didn't have his citizenship certificate with us.  Why would one need it if you are holding his passport?  Given to him by proving citizenship in their office in the first place.  We carried onto Walmart for pee pads and kitty litter.  We found ducks!

Home.  Then I was allowed to help Eric install the new to us microwave/hood range. We don't normally work well together if it involves tools of any sort.  We did ok today.  Funny thing...four of the kids dislike the new microwave.  Lili hasn't heard it yet. Apparently it's beeps are annoying.  ?  I am completely unaware of the sounds.  Totally unbothered.  I would never have even noticed a difference. 

I made a meal plan for camping and packed a bunch of food from the house.  Then made a shopping list for Friday. I packed my clothes.  Eric and the boys still need to gather warm play clothes.

The new purple stick vacumn arrived.  We can relax a bit on finding a canister for the built in.  I suggested we just use a broom temporarily.  This was met with a stare.  

I finished up some paperwork I've been dragging my feet on.  It was long and tedious but my part is done.  Ready to go to the family Doctor for his part next week.

Then my phone appointment with my Endocrinologist.  Sigh.  I came off the Ozempic because you can't be on it for surgeries and since we're functioning with not much notice I just came off.  Everyone says you'll gain weight.  I did.  8 lbs in three months.  With my fasting sugars up too high I now have to go on insulin and go back to the cgm.  Continuous Glucose Monitor.  I didn't want this option.  Sadly I can no longer control things with diet. Even with eating as strictly as humanly possible.  Stupid, stupid pancreas.  Now there are notes to the surgeon that there needs to be an on call Endocrinologist added to the team for procedures.  I am SOOOO extra.  It also means another visit to the diabetes education office to learn how to take the shots.  Sigh.  Sigh.  Big sigh.

The cgm means alarms on my phone.  I despised wearing it before.  I resent the demands of the phone most days and when it starts alarms because you need a snack it moves into being extremely annoying.

It's hard for bodies to heal with unbalanced sugars.  It's hard to be backtracking when I had diabetes in a managed state. Stupid cancer.

Insulin can cause more lows.  I haven't had a single low since being off Ozempic.  Back to wearing my alert  bracelet.  I hate it too. Insulin is ok for surgeries and deemed the most gentle option for the digestive track.

I'm incredibly tired of spending time with me.  I'm simply too much.

My next Dr. appointment is next week and they are booked as 10 minutes.  I suggested she book me two.  They aren't allowed.  Eric has an appointment too, but his will only be a minute.  So perhaps I can steal his 9 that are left.  Ffs.  Get this, we can't book an appointment for Eric to get the next mole biopsied without a consult first.  Even with a recent history of melanoma!  

The tmi part.

Marriage is fun.  Poor Eric.  I went up to bed.  Preparing to have a wee sitz bath for the abcessing fistula that roared back into action with a vengeance.  However there were blood clots and just too much blood in general.  I couldn't tell where it was coming from.  So I had to call Eric.  He couldn't tell either.  There are four options. Anus, vagina, fistula or wound incision. I was tired and in pain so I put on a diaper and just went to bed.  The pain was decreased when I woke so I figured the fistula was settling down.  We ran our errands and once home the bleeding had started again except now it's clear it's vaginal.  Why am I bleeding heavily now, after six days?  The pain has passed.  I'm grateful to be back with just discomfort.

There are too many details.  Complicated, complex, extra.

I was told today by the Endocrinologist that finding new things to look into during scans and tests was totally normal for everyone.  We're all just ticking time bombs.

In the distraction realm, I have a friend in our Jeeping community who is going through extreme trauma.  She was massively victimized.  Her story is all wrapped up in investigations and court proceedings and can be shared at a later date.  In the meantime...its definitely distracting.  I'm begging her to let me write the book turned tv series.

Sassinfrassin fricking fistula.

 

Of course I didn't actually eat cookies but I want to.

I made it out of the house yesterday to grocery shop with Eric.  Overdid it of course.  Too soon.  

Last night the fistula came back with a vengeance.  Relief and treatment is a hot tub.  I can't go in the hot tub until the stitches and wound are under control.  The pain of the fistula makes the pulling stitches a complete non issue.

We passed on the old YJ Jeep for me. 

For a few reason but mostly because I don't have the confidence to even attempt keeping up with the big kids.  So for now Onyx and I will stick to actual roads and try to look cool in our own way.  Although it was fun for a moment to dream.  The leading color theme plan was a black baby dragon car seats and naming it Baby.

Pretty sweet hey?!  

Anyways...onto the next distraction.

I'm camping this weekend with the boys.  We're dropping Jia at work then Eric is setting us up at Rathtrevor and heading back home to get Jia from work.  In the morning he is doing an advanced run with the Epic group.  Mom is getting Jia to work in the afternoon and then Eric will do pick up if he makes it out of the bush in time.  Mom if he doesn't.  Then Eric will join me and the boys.  We don't know if Jia works on Sunday or not. We can't wait for him to be driving himself.

We have friends heading back out on Sunday for a fun ride.  I'm not sure how to swing that.  We'll see.  

The weather doesn't look like camping weather to me.  This is spring break, so it is what it is.  I think there might be a lot of movies happening.

Tomorrow's appointments are eye specialist for me in the morning and Endocrinologist in the afternoon.  

Shockingly there is nothing on the calendar for Thursday.

The purple lines are all appointments.

It's really is a lot these days. 

Oh, and the microwave and built in vacumn both conked out on the same day.  We suspect power surges.  I ordered a vacumn from Amazon and we found a used microwave/hood range on Marketplace.  We would like to replace the built in but it needs a bit of research.  Since ours is 22 plus years old.  These things are just not fun.