Third Day

Finally word from Jack.  Not great.  Little Guy is not being made paper ready, paperwork is missing.  We can not have him at this time.  Jack will continue to ask for his file and hopes to have an update for us before the new year.  I keep hoping we'll get better news.  This is just the same thing over and over.  So, not a lot of tears, getting used to this nothingness as we wait.  I'm just so sad for him. 

Anyone wanting a little cry?  Go ahead and watch this video of Third Day's Christmas video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xebv7muzxU&feature=share

Visiting our elders

Fei's class went as a choir to four elder care facilities yesterday.  They did a fabulous job all day.  It was a long day and all new experiences for most of them.  They used decorum getting in and out, they performed beautifully and were very gracious about going out to say Merry Christmas to all of the residents.  I was proud.  What a great job their teacher did preparing them.

The tree

I ran into my cousin in town and she told me about their tree hunt and she thought she must be really picky because they had to keep going somewhere else until they found one.  I arrogantly thought 'oh, we'll just go to the same place we always go just down the road and pick one out in a few minutes'.  Hmmm.  We went after school yesterday and they were priced from $50 to $80 for the size we normally get.  So, we went to a lot and found the perfect tree immediatly for $40.  Turned out it was sold and then I didn't like anything else there.  I was prepared to sit in the car while Eric just picked one out but he took us to a tree farm instead.  It's the farm we used to go to when we lived in the old house.  It is so beautiful there.  The fellow working there was great, we told him what we wanted, he told us which way to walk and off we went.  Jia has decided in the last few weeks (since she potty trained) that she is no longer going to walk.  So Eric put her up on my shoulders and she promptly fell asleep which made my trudging through the fields a little more difficult.  When the man working with us came to check on us he took pity on me and loaded us up in his truck and took us to the edge where the Nova Firs were.  Lili and Fei's first ride in the back of an open truck.  We rode like that all the time when we were kids and I remember looking for Christmas trees from the back of a truck!  So that was pretty cool.  We finally found one that was tall enough and sturdy enough.  The girls seemed to prefer the overly groomed trees but I like some space for the doo-dads to dangle.  So the farm is any tree for $45.  Except ours, it was special, marked at $55.  Gotta' love it.  So, in the end I could have payed the crazy price of $50 from the first lot and it would have been cheaper! 

More Snow flakes

Serious Christmas prep going on this past weekend.  Sat. was Lili's 10th Gotcha day.  We had Haley and Hanna over for a sleepover and snow flake cutting party.  Just can't believe it's been 10 years since we were handed our wee baby Lili.  Of course memories of Fujian and Jack brings forth thoughts of Little Guy, so he's been on my mind a lot.  Feels sad to be preparing Christmas for only three kidlets.  I've been shopping for him but have decided to not wrap anything and I just bagged it up.  I really wish China would just give us a yes or a no, this limbo is awful.  I spent three hours on Sat. afternoon wrapping presents.  Feels good to have that mostly done.  I get my shopping done good and early every year but I really have a problem getting to the wrapping.
 

Kelly (our social worker) came and finished our home visits for the home study.  Yay.  All of our paperwork is in.  Just waiting on Kelly writing the final draft of the home study and then Sunrise can get the dossier ready to submit to China.  DTC, date to China.  Then we wait for a log in date, LID.  After LID we can be matched with a special needs child.  Some people are adament that this be called the waiting child list versus the special needs list but I disagree.  All of the children are waiting and when you're talking to someone not connected to China adoption they don't understand that the waiting children all have a medical need of some sort.  Some are corrected, some are minor, some are life threatening, some will impact them forever.  Lili, Fei and Jia were adopted through the NSN, non special needs program.  Lili and Fei both have a few things going on that would have put them on the SN list if they'd been diagnosed.  Jia seems truely NSN.  Little Guy of course is bilateral cleft lip and palate, some would list this need as minor since it's correctable and non life threatening.  It involves several surgeries, possible hearing problems, midline organ issues and speech and language issues so in mine and Eric's opinion it's not minor but we're still comfortable with the need.  We had to go over the needs we would be comfortable with in case we're looking for a match with another child.  Not sure how Kelly will write that up but we've requested non life threatening, corrected or correctable and able bodied (able to walk, no wheelchairs).  I could call Marg and ask more about how their matching process works but I'm still holding out hope that Little Guy will be matched to us. 

Jia worked really hard on her Christmas tree project while we talked with Kelly.

The final result, I'm planning to use this picture as our Christmas card this year, if I find time to actually get to Christmas cards...

I had the girls pose for a picture to put into our card, if we get to cards this year, and I took over 20 pictures of the same pose and although these sittings are often hillarious and downright frustrating, I did get one semi-decent one.  There were a few I quite liked, showing tons of personallity but when it comes to pictures on other peoples fridges, I'd rather they were posed with a little bit of decorum.  Jia and I were alone in the house on Friday morning, waiting for Kelly and we took the time to decorate the dinning room with some snowmen.  We also did gingerbread decorations in the kitchen.  Jia was thrilled to be helping and was very careful carrying the pretties.  She was excited to show Lili and Fei when they got home from school.

The chosen one.

My favorite.

Fei's class is visiting some elder care facilities on Wed. and they all did a practice performance at their assembly yesterday.  They only sang five songs and keeping Jia quiet was a major chore.  I'm not looking forward to taking her to Christmas concerts and recitals this year.  Last year she was still hungry and we could amuse her with puffs and cheerios.  She doesn't seem to have any clue what 'stop' means or 'be quiet'.  She does like to shush us, so she is starting to get it but getting her to shush is nearly impossible.   Check out the pirate ship and Eric and Chuck put together for the play! 

 

I keep getting reports from Eric and the big girls that Jia isn't behaving at dance class.  So, I took the afternoon off to go see for myself.  First thing Shelley did was attempt the sword dance with them.  Toddlers doing the sword dance, oh my, baby cuteness to the max.  Jia was so thrilled, she had to keep reaching down and touching the sword.  Got a few pics of her attempting to dance and then watched her totally misbehave for the rest of the class.  She was rolling on the floor, leaping to her knees constantly.  Talking like crazy to Shelley, announcing loudly that she farted, tatteling on the other girls, one was sucking on the front of her shirt and Jia told her she was disgusting, then she pointed out when their feet were in the wrong position even though her feet were also in the wrong position.  Last week she was put in time out, I don't even want to know what she did to get that one.  Not sure what we'll do about this.  This is all new.  Lili and Fei have always been so eager and have almost always behaved for teachers.  Ug.  I guess we just keep talking and talking and talking.  I think between Shelley and I we had to talk to her about thirty times and the class is only thirty minutes!  Welcome to the world of a strong willed child.

Lastly I'll talk a bit about Lili's new glasses.  I think they look awesome on her.  She isn't voicing anything about them at all.  She is however NOT wearing them.  Everytime I look at her they are off her face.  I tell her to put them on, she does, I talk to her about what ever I called her for in the first place and then the next time I see her they are off again.  It's driving me nuts.  Seriously nuts.  Last night for the first time since Friday I looked at her and they were on and it was relief to not have to ask where they were.  Now, how do we get her to wear them??

 

 

 

 

 

Snowflakes

Christmas Light Up and Parade.  Jia watched the parade from Eric and mine's shoulders.  Through an undershirt, shirt, heavy coat and my hat, I could feel Jia's heartbeat pounding!  She thought that was pretty great and when asked what the best part was she said 'seeing Santa'. 

 

Look what Fei fell in love with at Costco :)  Couldn't see where the ear phones plug in but it sure is starting to look appealing to Eric and I too.  Both girls are playing several times a day and it just booms from the upright grands!

The annual Christmas party and Kalum and Deanna's.  Jia was totally enthralled making a Christmas tree this year.

Fei was great at keeping her hands to herself and letting Jia do her own project but she still stuck around in case Jia needed her.  Great job big sister!

The masterpiece is decorating the table at home.  We bought a chalet kit to decorate and Jia is already asking to get started.

Lili and Fei have asked for desks for Christmas.  It's been an exhaustive hunt.  We've been everywhere.  Furniture, thrift, antique stores, on-line both new and used.  We've been to see so many desks that we were down to looking for one we could re-model, or add a hutch to.  Then out of the blue, while in Value Village Lili strolls through the back of the store and I find her standing with her hand on the desk she wants!  Too funny.  I said 'great, lets go find your Dad' and we walked away but two other shoppers got too close so Lili went back and stood with her hands on the desk, until I could get Eric back to take over.  Eric and I are just thrilled to be done shopping for desks!  Oh ya', shhh, don't tell Fei, but we found one for her weeks ago and it's perfect for her.  So much for surprises.

We have new neighbors and they've only been in their house a week and managed to get Christmas lights up.  I can't stand the idea of putting any more holes in the old house so have been asking for no lights for a few years now.  Jia is all about lights right now and Eric told me it was time.  Sigh.  So, I agreed but only if I could have hanging snowflakes because I like them.  Lili and I went to Wal-Mart on Dec. 1.  What a crazy day to shop.  Anyways, we went to the light isle and the shelves are getting bare and people were just walking up and grabbing stuff.  We were debating but feeling the pressure by the second.  Had to call Eric, measure, discuss and finally made our choice and then realized they only had three of the four boxes of what we wanted.  We made one more walk of the isle and found a box down the isle randomly placed.  So we brought them home and Eric put them up yesterday.  It was exciting to see them when we got home in the dark last night.  Jia was just beaming and whispered 'they so pretty, tank you Mommy'.  Awww.

Potty Trained

Oh, I hesitate to write this, here goes...Jia is potty trained! She made the decision herself on a four day weekend for me so it was perfect. We stayed home for two days and on day one she went to the potty a lot, I took her every half hour and keep her well hydrated. She ate a lot of little chocolates that day :) Day two we went every hour. Day three we stopped pushing all the liquid and let her direct herself to the potty. Day four we went out into the world and she refused to go on any other toilet. They had black seats, were too loud and too yucky. I had great fear that we'd be having accidents everywhere. It turns out that our wee girl can really hold it, for a long time. In the first week we were driving home between events for her to use the potty. I'm happy to report three weeks in, she will use the potties available. She has had a few accidents, mostly not getting her pants down fast enough once she is at the potty. She is already starting to have a few dry diapers in the morning. It's gone much better than I anticipated. She has already forgotten about chocolates. I'm fairly certain she won't regress. She was asking and asking for a potty party and a potty cake. I had no idea where she was getting this idea but we decided on report card day for the big girls to make a cake and celebrate all three kids. Jia was delighted and we sang 'happy pee pee party to you'. Cute. When I told Nicole about it she let me know she did tell Jia about Potty Parties just before Jia decided it was time. Now, a kid that will potty train to get a party is a serious party girl! She's already moved on to talking about her 3rd Birthday party.

Mom bought Jia a gown for the Christmas season, she was absolutely delighted and she was told that it was for 'wearing out' and now every time we're leaving she wants to change into her new dress.  Bowling on Sunday was 'going out' and when I told her she was fine in what she was wearing (pink monkey pants and pink shirt) she looked down at herself in disgust and said "I can't wear this out!!".  Our upstairs landing is really dim, I had no idea the full mirror had so many hand prints on it until I saw this picture.  Too funny.

Fei is always trying to do Lili's hair, all that long thick hair is enough to make her offer up deals that Lili might go for.  L hates having her hair done but likes her back tickled so Fei offers up half hour back scratches if she can do her hair and then we have to listen while they barter about how long Lili has to keep the hair doo in.  It's quite hilarious.  Jia's hair is finally long enough for Fei to do and Jia is finally happy to sit long enough.  Of course we can't get the hair to stay nice for more than a few minutes but it's a start.

All three girls had their eyes tested yesterday and Lili got quite a shock, her previously perfect vision isn't anymore and she needs glasses.  Fei and Jia are still good.  Lili says she doens't mind wearing glasses she was just so shocked.  She wasn't keen on looking at frames.  This is a kid that rejects almost all shopping, except video games and groceries.  She doesn't care for girly things including jewelry and hair pretties so glasses fall into that same bling category for her.  She was horrified at the selection available for girls.   This is not going to be easy.  In her mind, she is running free in the forest with her wolf pack.  Blingy glasses with gemstones just don't fit her image. 

Almost the end of November and still no word on Little Guy.  Thank goodness we're into Christmas and the girls keep me busy enough to keep the insanity at bay.

Books and more books

The girls and I tackled a huge project yesterday, we moved the kids book shelf from the basement to the top floor.  It took hours to sort and cull.  So, we got rid of three big boxes stuffed with books, everything came out of the shelf and then we had a hard time fitting the ones we kept back in.  Why wasn't there some space left from the books we culled out?  It was perplexing to say the least.  So, the shelf is once again upstairs for little kids to pick out bedtime stories.  We moved it down when Lili and Fei outgrew picture books and now Jia has outgrown baby books and is ready for paper pages, I hope.  She isn't exactly gentle. 



Next we're moving the kitchen center down to the basement.  Not sure how thrilled Lili and Fei are about the toys coming to their big kid space.   We've told them if it really doesn't work out we'll look for another solution. 

Eric bought Jia a 35gallon fish tank for her Birthday, shhhh, don't tell her.  Beyond crazy for her one little tiny Tia goldfish.  We have been overfeeding Tia and it's caused her ammonia burn on her back fin.  Poor wee thing.  So, it's been a crash course in fish care and Eric is still moving forward.  Now he's busy painting a skookum cabinet to move up to the kitchen for the tank to sit on because with water it will 380 lbs.  Seriously.  I am totally mystified about how we'll clean that?!  I should say, how Eric will clean that.  It's always fun to have a project.  I think it will be hilarious to release Tia into that huge tank all by herself. 

Emily and Asia came to play on Sat. night.  It was a surprise visit.  Jia was thrilled to see Emily.  They are so cute together.  After they left Jia was singing a song about her friend Emily.  Awww.



OK, so Little Guy updates.  I always forget that there are folks reading this blog other than my Mom and I've been getting e-mails and condolences.  Adoption is a huge leap of faith at the best of times.  Eric and I knew going into this one that it was a bit of a long shot.  We're not shocked by this turn of events and we have no idea how it will end up.  We have heard back from China in an e-mail and the powers that be have demanded that Little Guy be made paper ready.  So, we are not without hope and for now we're waiting.  We are going to continue finishing up the home study and dossier and concentrate on getting logged in with China.  We'll be ready the moment our son is ready for us.  Clearly this is going to take longer than we had hoped.  I still feel strongly that we're doing what we're meant to be doing.  Of course we can use our dossier once it's logged in for a match with a different child but we're not putting any energy into those thoughts.  We want our Little Guy home.