Our adoption agency phoned Eric today and asked if they could share our blog with some new families leaving for China soon. Of course. We're huge advocates of sharing information about adoption. We are beyond thrilled every single time we hear about another orphan finding a forever home. Which got me thinking a bit about all of the changes over the years.
Used to be mostly all non special needs adoptions and everyone in a line up and it was predictable and we were all in groups. Groups with our agency, groups with our facilitators and groups with our log in date buddies around the world. We had yahoo groups and chat rooms. On line seminars. Our agency used to send us articles and news stories. I gathered boxes of information during our waits for Lili and Fei. Jia and Luk's adoptions all fit in a binder. I used to get on a live chat every Sunday night and we would all talk about the details of life for the kids in an orphanage. We drilled everyone who had gone before for every detail. We shared where to buy the cool Chinese decorations and where we could order Asian dolls. We hashed over which formula was best. What temp. the bottles should be. The logistics of making super hot bottles on the go during the day. What we needed to pack. Oh my...the talks about what to pack! Catherine and I were extremely prepared by the time we got to China. Today the talk is mostly how to manage getting a match from China and what special needs are you comfortable with. Which children are available and when the next files are coming out. I'm delighted with some of the changes. It's great that the special needs kids are getting homes. Sad that the system has become a competition. Grateful that our match was so perfect for us and our process for Luk went so smoothly. Sad that I still think of Little Guy all of the time and still wonder at a process that would leave him behind when there was a family that wanted him so badly.
Anyways...for the new families...
Some thoughts. Things have really changed through the years and here are some things that I wish I'd known. First...everyone involved in your adoptions wants it to happen. Everyone in China is there trying to help and make sure that it happens smoothly. Second...everything you think you might need is easier to pack than to locate in China. Yes, I'm telling you it is easier to shop now at home, in your own town than it is to find even simple things in China. Third...everything you see in China is available to buy in any Chinatown and everything is available on line once you are home :) Aren't those a relief to know?
Everything is the same but different in China. Yes they have diapers and wipes and formula. But you can't read the packaging. Yes, they have shampoo and toothpaste and medicine but again...can't read the packaging. I've bought lots of things in China that just weren't what we thought. Wrong size diapers, oily formula full of fish oil that couldn't be cleaned out of bottles, shampoo that stunk, soap that burned and toothpaste with an odd taste. I personally would rather play with my new child than spend time hunting out baby supplies.
Just some of our findings:
Diapers...huggies for thin kids, pampers for chubbier kids. Pampers are cheaper and hold more pee. Have never seen a pull up in China. Wipes, they have them there, in smaller packages and again, you just don't know what scent you are getting. Formula, everyone says soy because the Chinese don't eat dairy. Not true. Dairy is huge in China now and they are really pushing milk for kids now. An allergy to soy is instant and an allergy to dairy takes a couple weeks. If your child is special needs it is likely even in the poorest SWI that they are on a decent formula. It is supplies for each special needs child. Our Lili was on milk powder. It is really cheap. Fei was on congee and soup with two milk bottles. Jia and Luk were on formula. Formula in China costs the same as it does here. Which means it is VERY expensive there. Nestle donates tons of formula. All four of my kids took Nestle Good Start no problem. The one in the purple tin. No reactions from any of them. We took two large canisters for Fei and Jia and there was enough for four bottles every day of the trip. We were short on Lili's trip. Didn't need as much for Luk who was much more excited about eating than bottles. All of my kids drank from a simple Chinese bottle. Gerber makes cheap nipples that are the same as Chinese ones. Basically the nipples in China are much thinner than the ones here. You can get a hiking thermos from any camping section for about $10 that is small and light weight and will hold enough HOT water for making two bottles on the go. We carried one bottle with powder, the hot bottle to fill half way and a water bottle to fill the rest. System worked for all four kids. Chinese formula is very sweet. Formula really stinks. Really, really stinks. I have no idea why any child would agree to drink any of it. Soy sauce is very hard to find. We pack our own. Eric cleverly got a bunch of packets from a restaurant for our last trip. Western food costs the same there as here. Baby clothes are very cute there, not at all similar to styles here. Luk is the only one of four that I had the sizes right for :) For meds. We didn't bother with antibiotics because they are available through any Dr. there. We took two types of pain meds for each age of us and allergy meds for all of us. We took gravel and sinus medication. The pollution is very real. We took triple antibiotic cream and zinc cream. Oh and vicks for the babies. We have never needed to look for meds in China but I have taken the time to peruse the isles and I was extremely grateful I didn't have to try and find anything. We packed one suitcase with gifts and once they were handed out we had room for everything we bought. Gifts are still appreciated. Good idea to carry your own toilet paper or kleenex. Squaty pots aren't that bad. We have been lied to many times in China. Communication is just not what we're used to. We as a culture here just say it as it is and the Chinese will often tell you what you want to hear. Good luck with that. We have just loved getting to know China through the years. Just a few rambling thoughts. If you are reading this and have questions please feel free to e-mail me. shelnel@blforest.com
