We're buying into a herd share. We met our cows today! Such fun.
Paperwork on Monday. Today was just our farm tour to meet the cows. Daisy, Filla, Peaches and Trudy. :) Didn't get all the names. Not exactly sure how many cows are there.
Why cows? I have chrones and for mysterious unknown reasons the fresh whole raw milk is taking the pain away. A herd share is a whole lot easier than having a cow in the back yard.
Ahhh. Scary. She bolted out of bed. I assumed to go to the bathroom but I couldn't hear her and then realized the lights were off. She is afraid of the dark so would never walk around without turning lights on. When she came back she quietly climbed in. Jia does NOTHING quietly. I asked where she went and she said "to see Dad about my milk". I asked how that went and she babbled something more about milk. I told Eric this morning that I think she was sleepwalking and he said she was absently looking for her blankie and talking about her blanket and then said "tropical fruit punch". She then left to go back to bed.
He agrees it was weird and she was likely sleepwalking. We have to ask her tonight if she remembers going to see Eric last night.
Weird.
Reading on-line today and common enough problem that can set in between age 8 and 12. Common with kids who talk in their sleep and have night terrors. That's Jia! Interesting that dehydration can play a part and she was talking about milk and fruit punch. Thirsty?! Plying liquids tonight.
Eric has disconnected our door chimes as a part of the basement mess. We need to hire an electrician and have been dragging our feet but I want those door chimes back so onward with the project.
Lili's play was tonight. Fabulous. Simply fabulous. Laughed so hard. Can't wait to see it again on the 26th. If anyone wants to join us Lili has tickets to sell. It's worth a watch. Sooo funny.
We braved swimming today in Nanaimo. Jia goes often but the boys don't. Kai hates water normally and Luk has to use a swim diaper. Beban Park caters to special needs so we gave it a try. Surprisingly Kai had a blast. Loved it. We weren't expecting that! Luk had a good time too. It was a ton of work for Eric and I. The boys just need so much care. They couldn't walk in the water without falling. Thank goodness Jia can swim. Showers and change room afterwards did us in. Glad to be home. Eric is napping.
Wish I'd had a camera in there. Total boy cuteness.
No school for us today. There were a lot of seniors at the pool and some of them were pretty grouchy. Sigh. Then in the shower an elder asked me if Jia was my granddaughter. I said daughter. Then she told me "my son has a kid like her, white on the inside, yellow on the outside like a banana". What?! Eric says my fault for leaving the house. I've been asked what did I say back. Nothing. Totally gobsmacked. Just looked at Jia. Who was dancing in the shower and totally unphased.
Oh...Jia got her hair cut a week ago and has flat out refused to let me take a picture. She forgot today ;)
The party went better than expected. All girls and my boys. They didn't interact with the girls at all. Luk colored. Kai sat on couchs and sang the wheels on the bus. We still keep the boys off fabric at home. They can't tell when their pants are wet. Couch sitting is under adult supervision at home. Kai doesn't know how to sit on furniture without goofing off and falling off. So Kai thought he was winning at the party. He made it through cake and presents with only minor weirdness that I'm sure only I was aware of. When we were five minutes to shoes I looked for Kai and he was snuggled up on the couch with a lady we don't know. I went to get him and while I was pulling him away/off her and talking to him "Kai, do you know this lady? No? If we don't know her then she is a stranger. We don't cuddle strangers. Hugs, kisses and cuddles are for family only". However, the entire time she is clinging to him, pulling Kai back to her and telling me that he's fine. She told me several times he was fine. I ignored her, dealt with Kai, got him off her and standing in front of us. Then said to her. He's only been with us a couple years, it's inappropriate for him to go with strangers and cuddle with them. He has to learn the boundries in order to be safe. This lady seemed extremely annoyed.
Every time this happens and I'm told by the stranger that it's ok and that he's fine I'm quite shocked. Were the other kids lining up to sit on strangers laps? No. Because it's not normal!!! Kids are afraid of strangers typically. So, I know this problem is COMMON with adopted kiddos and I'm good about being vigilant with Kai and stopping it every time I see it. What I'm not good at and have no idea how to deal with is the "stranger". I wouldn't dream of cuddling a child I don't know. Why are there people doing this? Or telling me it's ok. It's so incredibly creepy to me. What magic words do I use to difuse the situation? Kai does this often. None of the strangers are actually creepy just clueless and then offended by me stopping the cuddle.
Kai is an easy target for abuse. He needs more protection. He doesn't learn. He has no clue. He would go to ANYONE. He can't tell with words what is happening. I view this issue as supremely serious and dangerous and it alarms me that others don't see it the same way. We went through this with Fei when she was little. She had long outgrown it by the time she was Kai's age though. Lili, Jia and Luk all had good healthy fear of strangers.
Boys were making cards for their friends birthday tomorrow. I gave Kai his paper and he went to work. I glanced over and he was drawing with purpose. He announced it was a car and darn it, it IS a car! The other one is a bike :)
Web page retrieval. Yikes. Holey Moley. Was in way over my computer level. Found out a few months ago that our old web page was deleted. I had a few months to retrieve the files. I tried three different times with shaw and just couldn't get anywhere and kept giving up. It's not the end of the world. Didn't need the photos or layouts just the two pages of writing about Lili and Fei's adoption trips. So I tried again today. And failed. And the guy helping quit me. So I stewed on it a while then called back and really complained. Told him I was getting really mad. Ed heard me. Figured out the shaw problem and stayed with me while he fixed his end and helped me trick his system into working for me. And it worked and I got the code and it workes and all of the files are now safely on my computer. I'll print out the pages for the girls and be done. Phew. I need a nap.
And no one will care. And it's possible my Mom already printed out the information many many years ago.
Fei has mentioned that I haven't blogged in a while. Nothing wrong, we're just busy.
We've had to drive Lili and Fei somewhere every night this week. Tonight Lili works and Fei and I are going to a baby shower to meet new baby cousin Magnus. Girls dance tomorrow at Cairnsmore. Boys have a birthday party to go to on Sunday and Lili works. They all have Monday off and it's my flex day. So we're all looking forward to a day without obligations.
Taking Kai to birthdays can be really embarrassing. He gets SUPER excited about all Birthdays and he cries a lot at the parties. Likely because he's too excited, on high alert and not really clear about what it means for him. He seems to think all birthdays are his. He takes gifts and has in the past unwrapped them, gorges on food put out and cries if he doesn't get cake first. I love birthdays and cake too and I don't want to deprive him but he gets so over the top that we now keep ALL talk of birthdays to a very low key. To the point of considering a code word for the rest of us. He starts dancing, shaking and singing every single time he hears the word birthday. Then you have to remind him it's NOT his birthday. It's amazing how many times we have to tell him this. Then he hangs his head and pouts. I'm not looking forward to Sunday. I don't know the birthday girl or her family. I texted the Mom to say the boys could come but both require support so I'd stay with them. Not sure if she knows the boys. Then realized I probably should have been more clear. We don't have any wild out of control issues. I know now to stick close to Kai and know what the triggers are. Luk handles himself beautifully at parties. Thank goodness. I'm sure I'll need a nap afterwards.
Have found a car to go look at for Lili in Victoria but we can't find enough time to get there! She gets her learners in March. What?! Crazy. So I think she's too young to drive AND I can't wait for her to be driving. Her work schedule alone. Yeesh. It's been tough getting Lili to pinpoint what she likes in a car. So far, she is leaning to a small suv with 4 x 4 and preferably in blue.
The Rock Cod is ready to hire again. Fei is next. Have to get her in with her resume and go through the formality. Lili is going to train her. What I see is that this summer they'll end up doing back to back shifts and Eric and I will be in the bay several times a day.
Lili's Christmas work party was Tuesday night. I was her date. We didn't stay too long. School night. The party was VERY adult with an open bar. Lili didn't venture to the back deck to see exactly how adult the party was. They were a fun group and there was lots of innocent inappropriate grabbing. Unlike anything I've ever seen before. At one point Lili leaned in and whispered to me that it's like watching an x-rated movie.
Big girls had piano last night so Eric and I took the littles to Wal-Mart. Always an adventure. Kids were actually mostly well behaved. Luk and Jia sat in a cart playing a video game while Kai helped with shopping. I stepped into boys clothing to look for jammies for Kai and found Chinese New Year, year of the dog t-shirts!! $6 each. Got one for each of the kids. Eric found one for Jia in girls wear so we swapped it out. Then he went to mens wear for a red t-shirt for him and found the same t-shirts in mens wear too. So we have a whole set. Score. Told the kids we could skip the silks this year and they were all thrilled. Guessing these won't last long on the shelves! Run to get some my friends. Would be a riot to be a sea of dog shirts for our local event.
Kai got called from Sunnyhill for an appt. next day in Vancouver to see a psychologist. It was already late afternoon. I was trying to make it work but was mentioning by the time I got home and packed and got to a ferry we'd be lucky to be on a 7. Too late for a reservation. Wouldn't be to Easter Seal until 11 at the earliest if there was even a room. In the end had to decline. Why do booking staff at Children's not know that it takes hours to get there? An hour to ferry. Approximate hour early there for a reservation. Two hours on the boat. Unloading of the boat. Hour drive to Children's. If all goes perfect it's five hours! And...it never goes perfect. So now we wait again.
We need help. Answers. The first few months with Kai were survival for him and us. He learned the routine and accepted that he was going to have to feed himself, dress himself and basically do things independently. Kai has zero desire to be independent. At no point ever has he wanted to do something by himself. He still cries when he's asked to complete a new task on his own. We're coming up to two years with Kai and we still struggle every day with simple tasks. He doesn't understand why we do things and he skips steps. We tell him to wash his face and if you don't stay with him guiding each step it just simply won't get done. He will get the cloth, wander around and then put it into the laundry hamper. Dry and still folded. Completely missing the water and washing part. Yesterday I asked him if he brushed his teeth. He said yes. This morning I found his brush in the drawer with dried paste on it. Not used. So he got the brush, put on toothpaste and put it back in the drawer. Sigh. It's truely exhausting trying to teach him anything. I'm not kidding when I say he can't use a spoon yet. He needs full on care for everything and there just isn't always enough time. We need help learning HOW to teach him. Clearly everything we know just doesn't work. Luk isn't much advanced from Kai. So our hands are full to say the least.
We took off today to see the nature photo exhibit at the BC Museum. I planned to get a season pass today but didn't like their family pass option. Their pass is for 2 adults, three kids. $125 ($25 per person). But to add two more kids it was $57 each (more than double the first three kids). Strange policy. Why punish big families with an upcharge? There was no one there to negotiate with today. Luckily it was a free day for admission. So we didn't pay and I have months before we are planning to be back.
Looks like tons of renovations going on. It was crazy busy. Normally we would never willingly go on free/donation day but it worked out today ;) It was a bit tough getting the chair around the photo exhibit but fine for the rest of the museum. Ran into friends there, that was fun. Ended our day at everyone's favorite Spaghetti Factory and ran into friends there too!
We all enjoyed the photos but the winner was just too graphic. I ended up shielding Luk and Jia from a few of the photos.
Great party. Tons of laughs. Four families, 14 kids, 8 adults. Some chaos. Lots of noise. Tons of food. Little boys went to bed around 10:30. Dagon slept in Luk's bed with him. Their first sleep over. Too cute. The rest of us made it to midnight. Jia had Zoey and Emily in her room. She hasn't managed a sleep over before but she finally did it! I praised her today and she was pretty grumpy about it because she's worried she can't come back to bed with me. To have so many worries at her age. Telling her nothing has changed won't alleviate fear. The relief will come when we head up together tonight. The littles were all up early so we were up on breakfast duty with them. ;) I'm tired. Looking forward to getting to bed early tonight. Feeling thankful I have tomorrow off.
