Funny Monk moment

Can't take photos.  Can't make noise near the temple the monks are in.   Jack talks to us about respecting tradition.  About the seperate buddas.  We are silent near the people praying.  Total reverance.  We sit down with the head Monk, he signals a woman in a little store to get tea (they sell drinks, snacks,  incence and candles.  Then he gives Lili cookies and candies which struck me as funny.  Packaged junk just not fitting my vision of a monk living the old way.  Then he reaches under his robe and whips out his I-phone, bright yellow.  The emperors color.  He opens up contacts and loads in new information from Jack.  So much for my ideas about Monks in China. I asked at that point for one photo and he allowed it.  Jack shook his hand when we were leaving so I put out my hand and he leaped back and bowed to me. Lili was horrified at my mistake, I told Lili I was Canadian, they expect me to make mistakes, Jack laughed at that. So, if you are a woman visiting China, don't attempt to touch a monk. Lesson of the day.Will post pictures later.  Too funny.

Long Yan

Typical of all of the farm fields in the mountains. 

This is the farmhouse in the background where Mao was made Chairman of the Communist Party.

Gutien.  The monument is surrounded by a farming village and all of their fields.

Jack showing us how to make rice wine.

Farmland in Gutien.

The Yongding Hakka village model at the Long Yan museum.

Buddist Temple in Long Yan.

Checking out Jack's house (apartment building) in Long Yan.

Jack, his neice and his brother loading Lili up on snacks in their little store.

Chinese computer in our hotel room, Lili had a blast playing with it.

Our first pedi-cab with the rickiest motor cycle ever.

Walking street.

KFC menu.

Real pedi-cab ride back.

Jack.

We're in Jack's home town.  When we left Changting, the Director came to say good bye.  Then we went to Gutien.  Home of political cultural center.  Jack was in his element.  He loved it there.  We liked watching his pride.  Then we took a tour around a farming village.  Very peaceful, very beautiful.  If I had to live in China, I'd like to live there.  Tea served to us in every building. Lili is done with tea, she isn't even trying to be polite anymore.  Then we came to our hotel, which is owned by a friend of Jacks.  Very nice, another 4 star.  He ordered us lunch in our room.  Sandwich and fries, vege chow mein and cake as a surprise for Lili.  He hasn't allowed us to pay for a single thing.  Not even a bottle of water.  He buys lots of snacks for Lili.  It's very sweet.  I tried to buy a pin wheel for Jia and he bought that too.  He asked if there was anything we wanted, I said I'd like an infusion tea pot like at the Hakka village and he just delivered one to our room.  Jack visited his dad while we had a nap.  Our first nap, ahhh.  Once the hottest part of the day was over we went to a cultural museum.  Then to visit a buddist temple.  The one he went to when he was younger.  He is Christian now and no longer vegetarian.  It wasn't too surprising when the head Monk greeted him like an old friend and invited us to tea.  Just taking the star treatment in stride now.  The Monk was trying to feed Lili snacks.  She is so leary to try things anymore.  Too many new flavours.  We went for a drive around the city, Jack was full of stories from his youth.  His Dad was an important man, very respected, personal friends with the head Monk.  Local leader.  Then Jack showed us one of his houses.  It's actually twelve apartments.  Both of his brothers live there.  One is a policeman, honorable job, but he can't be a business man too.  Jack says before he took this post he used to be a business man, factory owner, jewelry manufacturer with six fine jewelry stores. Now he can't have businesses while holding his appointment, so it sounds like his other brother looks after things.  Now Jack collects very expensive antiques as investment. Our Jack is full of surprises.  He's doing considerably well for himself.  Dinner at the hotel buffet tonight.   Interesting, we found enough to eat, fruit and desserts count as dinner on holidays right?  Ya' we're ready for Eric's cooking.  We leave tomorrow.   First a pedi cab ride around old Long Yan, then Jack is getting Lili pizza to eat on the way to the airport.
Shanghai tomorrow.  Pictures later.

SWI visit.

Looking out our window.

Vice Director and Director of Changting SWI.

The police officer that picked Lili up and brought her to Changting SWI.

The building is still relatively new and it is spotless and in excellent repair.

The garden is overgrown.  Kids are all too young to play there, except one and they keep him close by, he is slow.

The first little guy to greet us, yelling down "hello, hello, hello".

 I took the older boys picture and the little guy wanted to see himself too, so I took his and showed him, he was delighted.  OMG is he ever soooo cute and alert.  He was totally intested in both Lili and I.

This little guy wasn't upstairs with the others, I don't know why.  The women seemed excited to see Lili and they were the only ones to take pictures, but some of their pictures were just of me.  Ug.  They were callingher Fu Qi and telling everyone nearby that she was Ting Fu Qi.

We have a picture of Lili as a baby on this stump.  When she sat down on the big one the boy quickly got on the little one and then smiled up at her.  So sweet.  Someone please go adopt these kids!

As we were leaving we heard this guy calling to us.

From way up high.  There is nothing in the upstairs landing, so heaven only knows how he got up to the caged balcony.

 

Good bye little guy.  If I could find a way to take you home, I certainly would.

Lili's finding spot, sort of.

The new temple.  The monks aren't hurting for money.

The farm restaurant.  Kitchen is outdoors and the eating rooms are all seperate.  Most popular restaurant in Changting.

Our lunch.  Can you say culture shock.  Lili actually just laughs at some of what we've seen now.  To think, the first night I met Jack, he ordered piranah and Eric had to have them remove it from my plate, we've seen, been served and eaten much worse in the last couple weeks!  Tonights dinner had a deep fried chicken head on a plater.  The Director of Changting served me soup and there were chicken feet going in my bowl and I smiled and said thank you.  Ay yi yi.  11 officials at the table, just didn't seem appropriate to be rude about food.  I tried hiding food on my tiny plate and in my bowl.  The waitresses seeing my plight brought me a new plate.  Also, they watched me trying to pick fat off of food and they brought me a pickle fork to help with that.  13 people at the table and I got a pickle fork and that brought lots of laughter.  Sigh.

There are gravity hoses up the creek, with water running into the troughs and taking the water and waste back to the creek.  Have heard of them, this was our first time using one.  Wild times. 

Old Changting.   I'm feeling wiped from all my blubbering and the heat was just crazy.  Burning hot.  Standing in the direct sun waw simply not an option.

Cute bum shot.

Fei, we bought you a ladies shirt here, with polar bears on it that you can wear as a nightie, this lady made it, she's made all of the clothing in her store.  28 y, $4.76.

Awww.  So cute.

These ladies were inviting us to sit and make dumplings with them.

Distinct cement carving, all over Changting.

On the left current Director of Civil Affairs, on the right, previous Director of Civil Affairs and the man that approved Lili's adoption.

Pomp and parade.  Lili was most honored quest.  Each dish was placed before her first.

The men folk are going to be hurting tomorrow.  Lots and lots of toasting.

Why, oh why, oh why did we think I could handle going into an orphanage?!  My heart is breaking.  I have read enough to know that you shouldn't hold them and then after spending a bunch of time with the first little guy we saw, I reached down and picked him up.  Oh my.  He is tiny but strong, so much like Lili.  When I looked away from him he touched my arm and I looked back into his eyes and said 'you want my attention' and he smiled and with the cleft, he drooled, just like Lili and Jia used to when they got excited.

I thought there were older children there with serious needs.  Nope.  Room full of babies.  We saw 11 babies/toddlers and one older boy around 7 or 8.  First little face to greet us was a little boy with clefts.  I cried immediatly upon entering the babies room, where Lili was.  Had to remove myself to compose myself and had to bite my lip and squeeze my fingernails into my palms until it hurt to stop the tears and even then it was right there.  Took everything I had to get through the next few minutes. 

I wasn't allowed to take pictures inside the babies room. 
Lili made friends with the older boy right away.  Jack says he will stay there, mental issues.  Most of the babies were healthy and are not adoptable because they are smuggled and they are still searching for their families.  Then there were three kids that Jack deems adoptable, but the staff does not.  So, he checked them over and then spent hours trying to cajole them into making them available for adoption.  The Director isn't educated, doesn't know how, Jack has promised him help with the paperwork.  Still not sure if that will happen or not.  Jack also said those children have no future here and he worries about them. 

There wasn't anyone there that remembered Lili, but she saw everything we have pictures of and everyone was happy to see her.  Not interested in any details, just happy she looks healthy and pleased that she is a happy girl and every single person who saw her commented on how beautiful she is.  They were thrilled with how thick her hair is.  Funny.  They also kept commenting that she looks just like me...ha ha ha.  Maybe they thought that would please me.  I just don't see the resemblance. 

It was very odd being there to start with and then to be there as a part of Jack's business was weird.  The director of Qiandow (Ching Doe) came to have lunch with us.  I think Lili is the first homeland visit.  It was a big deal and thank god she can eat with chop sticks because they were upset that she couldn't speak with them.  Mandarin wasn't going to help with their Hakka either way.

The Director knew the police officer who picked her up so called him and he came to meet her.  He was thrilled to see her and very proud that he was involved but didn't remember any details, he gave her his card.  Jack asked about her file and they don't have hers it went to CCAA.  They already gave us all of the pictures they had of her.

The Director took us to her finding spot, the old temple has been destroyed ( I think by destroyed they simply mean taken down).  So, he stood with her at the place the gate used to be.  He said almost all of the children at Changting are left at the gate or the temple.  The temple is NO where near the SWI.  We always thought the SWI was in the country, it's actually right on the outskirts of town.

Then we went through the new temple which is shiney and new and very beautiful.  Jack says China likes everything new now.  The govt. is working hard to protect certain areas.

Chanting is very much like Nanchang, but much smaller.  There is one main road with two and three story buildings.  A small section of new buildings around the hotel we're in, which is brand new and everyone likes to come here to eat because it's considered the best in Changting.

Lunch was with all of the SWI officials.  Outdoor farmers kitchen with famous Fukian chicken dinner.  We used trough toilet for the first time and watched them pluck our lunch.  We're soooo in China right now.  Again, didn't recognize much.

Jack sent us home to the hotel for a nap because it was so hot.  One of the Changting staff took us back.  No english.  He walked us to our door.  So sweet.  We're hot items right now, he didn't dare lose us!

I got into the room and took some time to just bawl.  Then called Eric and bawled some more.  I don't ever want to go into another orphanage.  Everyone sitting on the fence about adoption...get off your butt and do it.  There are still kids in need.  I feel like the little boy from Changting has been burned into my heart.  I want to feed him so badly it hurts.

There was also another little girl with fused hand on one side, you can make out a thumb and two fingers and she has full use of the hand now.  She is tiny, tiny like Lili was, skeletal.  Jack snapped fingers, made noises and fussed around her, talking sharply to the staff telling them she was smart and deserves a chance.  He thinks she'd easily get matched, minor need, so young.  The other girl was over a year, both feel club.  She is chubby and beautiful, Jack made them stand her up and she can table walk, they didn't believe her feet could be fixed.  He was most worried about the boy, double cleft lip and cleft palate.  I thought he was younger than Jia, but Jack says he's actually close to four.  Poor, poor little guy.  Jack also says he desperately wants his own family. 

After our rest we walked with Jack down town old Changting then came back to the hotel for a banquet dinner.  The Director of the Civil Affairs office came and during dinner the previous Director of Civil Arrairs came for a visit.  He is the one that made Lili's adoption possible and approved our match. 

A majorly exhausting day to say the least.  Lili really has taken it all in stride. I'm just so weepy.  My eyes are stinging.  11 officials at dinner, 5 directors, most of them smoking, which didn't help my eyes.  Lili hates smoke and was hiding her face in my armpit because that smelled better :) 

We asked if we could shop for the children but then saw that we might not like the way they live but they don't need anything in particular.  They asked for an air conditioner for the play room downstairs.  6000y.  Against everything I've read, I agreed, so we went to the bank of China, where they don't know how to get money off my visa.  So we had to use the atm and it failed twice.  I fear that the bank of China got 1700 yuan from me and there won't be much I can do about it.  We were only able to get some out of the atm and ended up giving the SWI 4000y $680 cdn.  Felt ok to do it with Jack there, plus I got a receipt she says with total sarcasm.

Lili is worried I'll be up sobbing all night.  Perhaps.  I do wonder why we've been so guided to be here with Jack, so many coincidents.  I told Jack I'd take the cleft boy in a heartbeat, he wasn't surprised at all.  This was Eric's fear in me coming here.   I held firm and didn't ask his name, birthdate or how long he's been there.  Just asked if there were any other health issues.  There aren't.  How do people work at jobs with these kids.  Seriously.  The staff call me tender hearted, that's putting it mildly. 

I am so THANKFUL for my girls and I'm so happy for them that they got out.

We are up early tomorrow for more sightseeing in Long Yan, cultural center. 

From Lili - Very upsetting at the orphanage today.  I really want the cleft boy as my brother.  He was very sweet.  It was weird being with all of the officials today.  The food was wild.  Jack bought me bananas and buns for my snack tonight and he sent us to our room with pops.  Now I'm watching a cool show on tv now about dinasours, it's in Chinese but still cool.  I'm glad that my Mom and Dad adopted me from there.  Looking forward to going home now.  Goodnight.

In Changting!

Once again, the pictures loaded in the wrong spot.  Took forever to load them and my screen is too small to fix the print.  Limited here.  Scroll for pictures.

Sllloooowwww internet connection but at least we're connected again.  Through the mountains we were without cell service too.

Ok, there is so much to tell.  Soooo much.  No chance of covering it all. 

First, Jack was never really a guide, we had that wrong 10 years ago, or we were duped or tricked.  Either way...  Jack was an official from the Govt.  He was appointed to create an adoption protocol because he was working in adoption affairs and had some background in travel services.  So, we were some of the first families to arrive and get an appointed guide, before our time families arrived through travel agents and floundered through the system.  Jack perfected the tours, meals, buses, paperwork etc. to meet families needs so that they could put energy into the new child and learn the child's culture.  Also would explain why he would feel so fondly for our girls and remember our family so clearly.

He is all over the place right now.  Lots of ideas, some to make money, some to help the kids here.  Some ideas like more student exchange with Canada.  I told him families would happily host kids but that I didn't know many families who would send their kids to China.  He agreed safer in Canada but perhaps it would work for older kids? 

So scattered.  We met after breakfast this morning and headed to a Hakka village.  Loved it there.  Very welcoming.  I'm a bit of a rock star here.  People were wanting to touch me, practice their english, take my picture on my own or with them.  Wild.  Some wanted to say they'd never seen anyone like me.  Yup, I'm an original all right.  Wishing I'd kept my long dark hair, I might have blended better.  Lili blends right up until she speaks.  They look horrified that she can't understand them.  Jack thinks the kids should learn more mandarin.  Lili didn't agree. 

At the Hakka village we learned all about tea, saw the bushes, the drying process, had two tea ceremonies, met the farmer who grew the tea, his wife who sells the tea and bought some tea from them to take home.  We now have enough tea for a life time.  Nicole...farm fresh ooo-long tea coming your way!  I know I'm butchering Chinese words with my version of spelling.  You get the idea.  Lili didn't love the tea so much but I did.

Jack ordered our lunch and then kept demanding they hurry up and bring it.  I think we waited maybe seven minutes.  Braised tofu, yummy, beef and peppers, Jack declared it unedible so we didn't try it, young bamboo shoots, they were ok, fried rice, I think we've literally eaten that at every meal except the pizza and finally Hakka dumplings that were amazing.  I'm guessing a recipe will be hard to find :)

Jack is as pushy as ever.  A force to be reckoned with.

Once again we are his trial.  He is wanting to put together a heritage camp and he's testing Lili and I out for what we think is cool, interesting and possible.  So far, we totally approve of the island, Xiamen in general and the Hakka village.  He also wants us to try Gaiping (cultural religious region) and Changting city tour (political cultural center with long history).  The mountains are stunning.  I think it would be great to add some farming information too.  I'm facinated by all the rice growing in the mountains.  Just as much tobacco but not sure that needs to be on a heritage trip.

Oh, saw lots of oxen today too.

We were watching the news with Jack at dinner and the flooding in China is just crazy.  We were in another storm today, up in the mountains.  Eric, just like the flash floods we've had to pull over for.  Jack just kept on driving right through it.

We had boofee (buffet) for dinner here at the hotel.  We literally did NOT recognize most of it.  I tried a few of the harmless looking things with Lili telling me repeatedly that I shouldn't eat things I can't identify.  I think I ate deep fried okra with onions, tasted like a crunchy onion ring.  Very yummy she wouldn't try it.  Adventursome eating is over I guess.  They serve free food and appies in the evening, might take Lili back down for a bedtime snack if she stays awake.

Lili must be feeling better, she is running all over the room with an empty pop bottle pretending it flies and is a weapon.  Too funny.  She NEEDS to run, just run.  There is no where to run on a trip like this and no allowances made.

The drive from Fuzhou to Changting used to be 11 hours of rough driving.  It's now 7 on new highways and only 5 1/2 from Xiamen.  Changting is a small district, only 250,000 people.  We didn't see much because it was dark when we pulled in but it looks huge to us.  The hotel is big, quite impressive.  I told Jack about their on-line ad stating there was hot running water and he laughed.  I think someone could come to China and make a living just walking around hotels and correcting signage for a fee. 

Rice.

The main house.  Built in 1912.  I told Jack and our guide that it was newer than our house and they were tremendously surprised by that.

Our guide, no english so Jack had to translate.  I couldn't figure out why we needed her but then finally clued in that he was pumping her for dates, times and information for the future Heritage Camp he is planning for next year :)

The lady lives in the big main house.  Jack demanded that she let us go upstairs to their personal space to look around.  He paid a fee but we got to go. 

The original house owners.  The house holds about 14 families, all of one family.  There are many families still there.  Our guide grew up in the Hakka village and they all have the sur name of Lin.

Totally fascinating.  There were lots of round Hakka houses and even some smaller square ones.  We were able to go in a few of them.

Tiny yards, filled up.  People are living there while we're taking a look see and pictures.

More tea. 

Can you see the spigot out of the ground?  That is the kitched bathroom, right  there on the sidewalk.  This boy washed his hair under that tap while we sat listening to Lili's concert.

Really.  I had to praise Lili for not laughing.

The new Director of Changting is a man, I don't think he's going to like the femmy gifts I brought, Jack says no problem, he has a wife.  For that matter, Jack might not like the things I brought for our guide Penny, he also has a wife.

Jack's wife works for/with Love Without Bounderies!  I read their blog everyday and I get the facebook updates all day long.  So connected to Jack in so many ways.  Totally lead here. 

The staff and Director are so excited to see Lili that we came to Changting a day early.  Jack seems very excited too.  It's hard to have fear and anxiety with this level of excitement going on.  The Director is coming tomorrow morning to eat breakfast with us.  No pressure there.  Then we will go to her finding spot and the orphanage later.  The Director has already invited us for dinner.  I've told Lili to just go with the flow, things change with Jack quite a bit.  He's still hyper and animated.

At the Hakka house there were performances and it rained so we had a second tea ceremony and missed the show.  When we got there they told him is was over and he told them Lili was Hakka home for a visit and she needed to hear the music of her people.  They quickly gathered up and gave her an individual show!  When you hear Jack, even if you can't understand, you can tell from his tone that he is demanding.  Ok, and the performance was amazing.  One man has won many award all over China for playing music with a banyan tree leaf rolled up and blowing on it.  One man was playing two horns by blowing through his nostrils.  I asked Jack why they were doing that and he said they are showing off.  Typical behaviour for Chinese men to prove they can do things people say they can't.

Lesson of the day from the mountainous region "where there is water, there is money".

I think Jack told people all day long that Lili was adopted by me and was here to visit.  People were doing a deep repect bow to me all day.  Not sure how much Lili sees of that.  Mostly we were trying to keep up with Jack.  If we lag behind he yells 'come now Shelley, you can see that later'.  Not once did I get back to see anything later :) 

Jack was visiting an orphanage when he met his daughter, they had no plans to adopt but she was healthy and cute and he wanted to bring her home, so called his wife and she said yes.  So sweet.  Don't you all wish it could have been so easy?!  She was five months old and he gets questioned all the time about why he didn't adopt special needs.  It's the same everywhere now I guess.  He says he has friends asking him to help them adopt all the time but that there really aren't any healthy kids, they are all special needs now.

The bulk of the kids in SWI are mentally challenged and he doesn't feel they will get adopted. 

He got a call today while we were driving, a family is in process of returning the five year old daughter they just adopted and it happens so infreguently that the staff didn't know what to do.  He was feeling so sad for the girl today because she was in tears and sad.  The family adopted two kids on one trip, a boy and a girl.  I asked if she would be able to be adopted again and he said yes definitly that they would try to find her a family.  She has some mental challenges too.  Sounded like he was describing autism but he doesn't know that word.  I told him I thought autism was perhaps families biggest fears.  He's going to look it up later.

He also got a call today from a family from Holland that just arrived at an orphanage without official permission.  He granted permission but wonders why they didn't call him first.

Jack isn't sure how many kids are at Changting but he thinks around 10.  Some mentally challenged and staying there for life and some were smuggled children.  The police are still searching for their parents and they can't be adopted because they are not orphans.  He was telling me today that 50 smugglers were just put to death.  I asked him how they could stop the smuggling.  He said keep killing the criminals.  I told him that lots of parents believe that as long as we keep adopting the kids the smugglers will keep kidnapping them.  He looked at me like that was crazy talk. 

So, it turns out that Jack was born and raised in Long Yan, which is an hour before Changting.  He grew up speaking Longyanese and Hakka.  He did great with the Hakka today.  Thinking he pretended to not always understand 10 years ago to avoid tedious questions about the children that he would consider irrelevant.  He is NOT a detail man.  He graduated from middle school (our high school) and then got to go to university (only top 5% got to go) and form there the Govt. placed him in a postion in Fuzhou.

He thinks we should stay in Long Yan on the way home to try the hotel there.  His 85 year old father lives in Long Yan still.  I told him we'd love to meet him.  The hotel we're at in Changting is very nice, very clean, quite new. 

He still is not particularily interested in hearing about my kids, too boring I think.  He does take the time to tell me what they need and how to raise them though :)  I don't need to worry about what they eat or how much, only that they excercise enough and then food doesn't matter.  They will eat what they need.  Ok.  Also, no video games because then they can't concentrate on studies.  Whatever.  I said what about bright kids that aren't struggling in school, still no video games, no none.  As Lili is in the backseat playing her ds for the entire five hour drive.  I don't think my techy kids are going to put the gadgets down anytime soon.  Also they need more studies and classes and mandarin.  He says all Chinese people would agree.  Ya, um, we just haven't actually found a moment in Canada that they've ever needed Mandarin, I agree it would  be nice but not important. 

Miss Fei goes to camp today!  Have fun Hunny.  I love you, I miss you, see you in a few days!

Fei sent me a picture of our finished kitchen!  What a surprise.  I live a pretty dull life, sort of the same thing over and over again.  I don't think I'm prepared for many more surprises.  Eric, the kitching is gorgeous, turned out even better than I was expecting.  I showed Jack, he loved it too, so did the ladies serving us tea during a rain storm today :)  Isn't technology amazing.  Sitting in a Hakka Village, the only caucasion person in sight, drinking fresh tea while looking at an e-mail of our new kitchen!   Almost as cool as saying goodnight to Jia from the Great Wall.

From Lili -  Um, eh, ah, been some crazy days.  I have a stupid cold, not feeling the greatest but feeling better tonight.  Jack is very bossy, he's nice, he is taking good care of us.  I like him.  The Hakka village was very cool and to see that everybody looks like me.  I hated the tea but the ceremony was good.  It was cool to see how they made the tea.  Can't wait to see Changting tomorrow.  Fei, have a great trip to camp, I hope you have a lot of fun and be safe.  Daddy, I miss you, and Jia, and Jenny and I miss you all.