Next Installment of the Bully Saga

The bullies Dad called me.  It was super awkward.  I already knew Mya had left the hip hop class so I personally didn't feel there was much left to talk about.

He said some things right in small ways. Admitting Mya has a hard time with empathy, kindness and keeping her comments to herself. That he and the step Mom made it clear to her that she was moving out of the class, so accepting her part in it.  He said she'd been in tears for 3 days about it.  I suspect more because she was caught again.  However, he was clear he doesn't like using the word bully because they are girls learning to be women and they have to figure out ways to get along.  Hmmm.  I interjected that I felt the situation required Jia avoiding Mya flat out.  There is nothing to work out.  One of the two kids needs to just shut up.  Sigh.

So, I thanked him for calling.  Said I was glad Mya had moved classes. It's a small town I'm sure they'll run into each other again.  We are neighbors, they're literally across the street and the girls have friends in common.  Not once, ever, have I heard about Jia saying anything mean to Mya.  

The call was unsatisfying.  I have a zillion better responses now.  I think he missed a lot of the point.  Ultimately though, it's clear their hands are full dealing with their kid and this is no where near the first time for him having to make the call.

It's 2 in the morning and I'm listening to May and Jia chatting non stop in the livingroom.  I might have to go make sure there is some sleeping going on during this sleep over.  

The Bully Saga

The dance school let me know this morning that they were taking Eric's complaint very seriously.  I responded with the history of Mya and a list of choice things she's had to say in the past.  They offered to let Jia switch classes.  We were sorting through the options and contemplating.  I just now received an e-mail letting us know that they had finally heard back from Mya's family and she has withdrawn from the class and will take a contemporary class.  Yay.  A tiny victory.  

Jia's school bully.

Mya is at it again.  Grrrr.  We were dismayed that she is in Jia's hop hop class.  They've been ignoring each other so far.  Last night a half hour before class Jia was alerted online that Mya has stopped ignoring her.  She's  saying it's funny to watch Jia dance with her skinny arms.  Jia was too upset to go into class so she stayed in the car and Eric went in and talked to the teacher.  Then drove her home.  I made everyone get in the car and go back.  I walked Jia in and she went in grudgingly.  Damn Mya wasn't even in the class last night.  I called her parents.  They haven't returned my call.  This morning I was contacted by the dance school who has a zero bullying policy.  Whatever.  So does the school.  No one has the power to exert their will onto anyone.  Mya has not responded positively to sensitivity talks.  I don't believe she is capable or willing to change her ways.  I let the dance school know a lot of details and told them I don't believe there is a solution to dealing with this particular kid.  I asked if there was a class to switch to.  The next option today is to look for a different school.  Ask me today how much love I have for stupid Mya. I have Mya's cell number but Eric wouldn't let me contact her directly last night.  Likely a good thing.  

I don't like pointing fingers at kids and calling them bullies. I prefer to deal in house and encourage our kids to not take the victim role.  To not let the idiot kids have the power.  However, Mya has a long history of being the epitome of a bully.  Normally the instructions are walk away and ignore.  Jia would be able to ignore this one incident but the long, long list of insults before this one are fresh in her mind all the time.  This kid has caused way too much hurt.

I went outside to update Eric on a few kid issues being dealt with today and the counter is in and the power works!  We have light and an inverter.  Yay.  

Then we he put the walls down and up to show me.  Then I tried.  Harder than it looks when he does it.  He watched me tug and pull and push and studied the issues.  He is already working on trying to adapt things for me.  I'm too short and I have t-rex arms.  Step stool needed.  The side peak walls are heavy.  He wants to bungy them to help with the lift.  Then the door wall is too heavy for me to lift so he went to the other side and got it part way up with a broom handle before I could lift it from the inside.  I was teasing that he'll have to come set me up and take it down so I can camp without him.  Haha.

Funny call, but not really.

Our health clinic called today with questions.  Are you the guardian of Kai Nelson? Yes he's my son. And Luk Nelson? Also my son.  Are they twins?  Same address? How is their birthdate so close?

Haha.  Seriously.  A health nurse couldn't think of a single reason for this.  That was a first. Good thing she checked because her solution was to delete Kai's file. 

It's time for their grade 6 immunization.  Which they do at the school.  I tried to book them to have it done privately at the clinic and I was told "they always do better when they're away from their Mommy".  Well...I've had about enough of being told all about my boys from strangers and instead of blowing up I started laughing, perhaps a little meniacally.  Kai will scream, a lot and for a long time and possibly before they even get near him.  He's hard to hold down and I'm certain public school staff aren't really allowed to hold the kids down.  I emailed the special needs coordinator, perhaps she can arrange for the boys to be in a private room or let us know when to be there to help.  I did tell Luk and Eric the funny story about the call.  Luk is adamant that he wants to go to the clinic versus the risk of having feelings/tears at school.  He is well aware of his medical anxiety.  

Tuesday is our loaded day.  We went non stop and spent a good chunk of it the in the car dropping and picking up.  With not enough time in between to do anything.  We did play in Jysk and Winners to kill time.  I got matching blue comforters for the boys new beds. 2 for $20. Also a new top for me at Winners.  That I don't need.  I overdid the day and was coughing non stop by the end. Also included in Tuesday's line up was we were called into the Pediatrician's office to do a mental health check for Luk.  I mentioned at Children's spinal cord injury clinic to the occupational therapist (who deals with schools) that Luk was more forgetful than usual and I though his processing delay was longer.  Which meant meetings in the hallway and dozens of questions from each appt after that.  Lots of opinions. None of them know Luk well enough for the opinions.  This carried on for 5 hours.  The neurologist was called in and we're doing an mri to rule out big problems.  However, when we were called in to see his Pediatrician I knew it was going to be about mental health.  Turns out the Urologist of all people wrote to her declaring Luk is depressed and needs meds.  Sheesh.  Stay in your lane man!!  So, after a lengthy appointment and some one on one with Luk she declared him not depressed.  Which we knew.  We're all clear there is anxiety but she feels as we do that it's all wrapped around medical.  So, no ADD, no depression, no meds and she feels the urologist might also be a bit ahead on his go ahead plan.  So we're quietly agreeing to his plan but also letting Luk know that from his Pediatrician he can stop and start as he feels with the new plan.  His choice.  She also backed me up in giving a more accurate future picture versus the crazy man's golden scenario that is far fetched.  This Mama needs a break from the professionals.  

Other than the weird call it's been a quiet day at my desk.  Eric is outside working on the Big Cheese.  New inside walls today.  I love it when he randomly sends me new pics of his project.  Still coughing but better if I stay still and quiet and breath shallow.  

All that's left for today is early dinner and hip hop for Jia.  Eric and I just finished Breaking Bad last night.  We need a new series to delve into later.  

OMG, Lili and I are going to Disneyland!

We went just the two of us for her ninth Birthday in 2011.  I just booked our next one on one trip for during her November reading break!!  We're so excited.  It will be whirlwind.  We'll drive to Bellingham on a Saturday.  Fly Sunday morning. California Adventure Park on Monday, Disneyland on Tuesday, Universal on Wednesday and fly home Thursday.  We'll cram a ton of fun into the days.  Oh, and the best part of going with an adult child, she's paying her own way! My first trip paying just for me.  

Have a Minute.

Raising two boys after the three girls is definitely giving us a much different parenting experience.  So many stories.  Most of them untold. 

When we picked up the boys new beds yesterday the woman we bought them from asked the boys their names.  Kai babbled a whole lot and once he quieted a bit I was able to correct her, she thought he said Karl.  Then she asked Luk who looked away, turned and walked away.  Kai was still talking loudly and excitedly I caught Hot Wheel. She with grace moved on.  A simple what is your names. Neither managed it.  I did talk to Luk, we let him know that not answering comes off as rude and angry.  He just stares at us when we say these things to him.  

This morning both boys needed a fasting blood draw.  Kai goes every six months to check for diabetes.  He hates it and starts his screaming before they touch him and carries it on long after we've left.  Needless to say, neither of us like taking Kai.  Luk hasn't had a blood draw while awake in a long long time.  I walked him through what to expect since he now has medical anxiety.  We didn't think I should go in with a cough.  So Eric had both boys.  We got to the clinic that opens at 7 at 7:50 but they now open at 8:30.  So drove to another one that was open but they had an hour line up so we went back to first choice.  This was likely our tactical error.  Giving Luk too much time to think.  Kai squealed as normal but it was Luk that went a bit nuts.  Sigh.  Eric gets brownie points today.  It took a long time to get them both done with the small veins, screaming, fussing and crying.  He brought both boys to the car still crying.  He dropped me at home and took them to McDonalds for breakfast before getting them to school late. At the school they both went in showing their bandages front and center and Kai was loudly telling everyone it REALLY HURT.  Sigh. I have no clue how any of us will deal if either of them actually gets for real hurt.  

It's a beautiful sunny day.  We arrived to pick them up a bit early and were sitting with the windows down chatting in the car and we hear Kai coming down the sidewalk with kids all around him and he's yelling "MY UNDERWEAR ARE DIRTY....MY UNDERWEAR ARE DIRTY".  We were both quickly on high alert trying to shush him and saying just get in the car.  A whole bunch of kids will go home today with that story.  Tgen we went to sign papers at Sunlife and had a bit of time to kill before picking up the van.  It was in for electric brake and wiring harness for the Big Cheese. I needed a chair cushion for Jia's new homework spot so we hit a dollar store.  As we're heading into the store Luk and I were walking behind Eric and Kai and we noticed the butt of his pants is filthy like he's been sitting on the ground.  Luk tells Kai "your butt is dirty".  To which Kai responds loudly "I know Luk, my UNDERWEAR IS DIRTY".  I hung my head down and tried not to look at anyone.  Sheesh. When Kai yells his words become much clearer.  

Jia is wanting help with school work.  Picture day for the boys tomorrow.  Tuesday is a loaded big day this week.  Speech, milk, two schools and Kai's play group plus a pediatrician appt with Luk.  

The big hole is covered.  Insulted under this and a whole panel glued on.  The panel is plastic. Future water damage not possible. Hoping the glue holds overnight.  

Jia braided me some car ears.  So cute.  

New beds for the boys.

So, several things going on here. Luk won't be able to climb to his bunk with casts and afo's.  Luk needs a new mattress in general.  I need a foam twin for the big cheese so we want to steal Kai's and upgrade his too. The boys super low/toddler height beds were built into bunks but I'm doubtful they'll come apart so nicely.  The girls all had/have antique beds painted white.  I want the boys to move into a more manly dark wood versus the white they have.  Since we don't know when Luk's botox surgery will take place I'd rather be prepared.  So my down time being sick left me time to shop online.  I found matching antique twin beds from 1940 for a crazy low price. Eric was less then impressed with my plan.  He sees driving to Saanichton, taking the trailer, loading, unloading, assembling and dealing with the old beds.  I get it.  However, when shopping in the used market there isn't time to ruminate.  So, we went this morning to pick them up. The boys were about as excited as Eric.

We did get lunch out. It wasn't all that I'd hoped.  My taste and smell is off, not totally gone but not working right either.  

The beds even came with never used twin linen and duvet sets in cream.  I'm not sure about using it for the boys.  They don't seem to care, looks boring to me.  I think they see it like hotel linens.  

Gorgeous day out there but we're done. The TV is on already.

I'm feeling a lot better but have a deep horrible cough. Eric hasn't caught this yet. I think he feels like it's coming so he's been working overtime each day trying to catch up.

We have a bunch of appointments this week.  We're already looking forward to Friday.