Goats and Seals

We had a great holiday day yesterday. We started the day looking at a van in Colwood. It wasn't the one. Jia was melting for food so that ended van shopping.  We packed a picnic lunch and ate at the playground in Beacon Hill.  Mostly because there is a bathroom there ;)  The littles had fun in the playground.  Kai does ok.  Mindful of the other kids. Stays with Luk and Jia.  He loves the slide and can hold onto the swing.  We got some great pictures of the three of them in their super hero shirts.  Can't call them Superman shirts per Jia. 

Then we went to the little zoo to pet the goats.  We stayed longer than usual, all of the kids had fun and would have stayed longer.  The babies are so cute.  We tried hard to get Kai to brush their fur in the right direction but he flat out refused to learn that one so after 30 attempts with a few goats I took his brush away and tried getting him to pet with his hands instead. 

From there we went to Fisherman's Wharf to see the seals.  What a riot. There were a lot of people there.  We saw four seals there.  Beyond adorable.  They were watching the crowd to see who had fish for them and would swim right to them.  Fei got the best pictures.  No magic shots of our kids feeding them.  The boys threw one piece and Jia did the rest.  They remind me of dogs.  Two of them were bigger and would swim out a bit to show off and wave!  There was an otter there too trying his luck at getting fed. 

We drove along the water and watched the kites and paragliders. Stopped to look at two more vans. That weren't there. Ended up looking at the new vans. Had the manager out looking at my Envoy. Jia was melting again so we left and ate out at the Purple Garden.  The new vans sure are pretty.  We haven't had car payments in forever.  I'm back to looking at the used ads today and the pricing is crazy and all over the place.  Five year old vans selling for 3 or 4 thousand less than a new one. Making it hard to look at the used ones today. 

When we were back in town we drove way out of our way to pick up a serving bowl from my set that I found on usedcowichan for $3.  The kids were once again not thrilled about my china. Go figure. 

We don't hear this often, at the end of the day Lili and Fei thanked us for a great day.  Aw.  It's not easy to impress teenagers! 

Weird adoption conversations.

I've heard a lot of strange things from people through the years.  Some never to be forgotten. 

When Lili was a baby a friend told us there was a chip planted in her that the Chinese govt. would activate one day and she would turn on our Country. Friendship didn't last surprisingly.

During a domestic adoption attempt we had a family member suggest that dicipline be left up to the bio mother.  ?  Because that's practical. Also had a family member suggest our girls could date their cousins because they weren't really related. Ew. Super EW.

We've been asked over and over again if the kids are siblings. I know people are asking if they are biologically connected but I always just say "yes, they are all ours". We used to get the twin question with Lili and Fei, who didn't look alike at all.  Now we get it with Luk and Kai, who really really don't look alike and are 14 lbs apart. The kids totally don't get why anyone would care about bio connections. Especially while surrounded in split and blended families.

We used to get asked why China. I could talk for days about that.  So I would often ask "do you want the long version?" Turns out most people don't want the long version.  We don't get this question so much anymore.

I used to have people tell me that we must not like boys since we have girls. Tricky one, it wasn't that we didn't like boys, it was that we got to choose and I wanted a girl and Eric didn't care. Or he wanted me to have what I wanted.  Since Luk, we haven't been questioned on this.

We've heard many times in front of the kids that China hates girls. GRRRR.  Now we don't hear that as much as 'how did you get boys? I thought China kept their boys?'

I've had total strangers ask me in front of the kids how much they cost.

We've had two separate older men ask if we can return them. ? 

I had a man give me crap for bringing in those kind of kids into our country.

We've had a Mom at school tell us she won't buy anything made in China. Several times. It's an odd thing to singularly tell someone.

We've had people complain to us about how many Asian people are here. Seriously, do they think we'll join in with their complaint?! 

All to say, we've heard a lot of adoption ignorance through the years. For the most part it bounces off of us.  Mostly I prefer to show the kids that life can be positive, especially about how we are a family. I gently correct terminallogy. I answer in simple positive ways. We include the kids in answering. We try to never make a big deal. I've gotten VERY good at reading when someone is staring and is going to approach us.  Sometimes it's just to tell how well behaved our kids are :)

So you'd think I wouldn't be too shocked by much anymore.  Yet, yesterday I had a fellow at work ask me how the kids are, I said "great, we've got a new son, do you want to see a picture?" he looked, smiled and said "you can have so many because those Asian kids are easier to raise".  You'd think I would know better but I said "oh? why is that?" Turns out it's because their parents in China push them and they are smart and like to read. Makes you go hmm.  So five sets of Chinese bio parents in China are pushing OUR kids here in Canada to do better and read more.  I do wonder if he will ponder his ideas. At least Sue and I had a good laugh about that after he left.

Ok, then this morning a Mom at school that normally doesn't talk to me approached and told me she'd heard from Melissa  (I don't know a Melissa) that we had another child. Then she was asking how he was adjusting. Questions that usually come from other adoptive parents. I'm always mindful of families that are interested in adopting. Always advocating for kids to find homes.  Then she told me she was reading about kids in concentration camps and was comparing Kai's experience. Ugh! I don't get that connection. No one is trying to kill off all the kids in Chinese orphanages and they aren't being starved. I could go on but really what is the point. Jia was annoyed at my attention being off of her and the bell rang and the other Mom had to rush home, she'd forgotten her daughters boots for the field trip.

Time to put my blinders back on and avoid eye contact for awhile. Because WOW.  Just WOW.

Again...for the record...when anyone adds a child to their family through birth or adoption at any age, the correct response is always, "Congratulations".

Middle of the night. Can't sleep. Too much on my mind I guess.  Also insanely excited. We're going to Victoria tomorrow to see if we can feed the seals at Fishermans wharf.  Gotta try for some more shut eye. Boys will be up soon.

Back to busy.

I miss spring break already. 

All three girls were less than thrilled to go back to school.

Eric and I have made six trips over five weeks to our access center and we still don't have a medical number for Kai!  They lost his file in Victoria.  Long stupid story.  It's not lost, it's on Jessa's desk in Victoria. Everyone is trying to save face. We thought yesterday that it was finally sorted but this morning Victoria requested a new application because there was something crossed off the second copy. Which of course they would only know if they had the first one to compare.  What ever.  Eric picked up another blank and brought it to me to fax from work.  I was told by a couple people that on a domestic adoption there isn't a protocol in place.  Clearly.  I had to write a letter explaining Kai's history and adoption placement because they just don't get it. Wild.  Our government at work for us.  The frustrating part, aside from all of it is that I just don't believe there are hoards of families trying to randomly add kids to their account that aren't their kids. Eric told them yesterday that I was going to call them every day. Meanwhile Kai is healthy and he's seen our pediatrician during one of Luk's appointments.

Lili had to pick her electives for next year. She is so sweet.  Worried about making the right choice for her future. Lots of chatting before the final decisions were made.

Only three months of school left!! Yay.

The rumor mill has finally kicked in at Fei and Jia's school about kiddo number five. Lots of questions suddenly.  Those not in the know are finally realizing Eric has two little boys with him at pick up.

Luk went back to school for the first time since his collarbone break.  The boys in his class tend to knock him over quite easily. So we just pulled him.  He isn't complaining of any pain and he's allowing us to pick him up normally again. Kai was invited to play in the school and he happily joined in for a half hour.

Eric's job building for the play grew again. I'm not impressed.  Way too much for one person.  Hoping we can balance family time and time off for him to get it done. 

Kai has suddenly decided to parrot me during book/learning time.  He loves to snuggle in and listen to stories and even better when he gets to be involved.  Luk and Jia are enthusiastic learners. So much fun to see Kai get as involved.

Kai progress, he is now dressing and undressing himself. Except for sox, which are tricky, he gets them on but never the right way. He has mastered the fork and spoon.  Ok, maybe not mastered so much, but he no longer requires help.  We rarely have to remind him about little bites. He is starting to use just one hand to hold food and we haven't seen double fisting in a while. The best thing ever...he is staying in his bed until we get him up!!  I don't know how or why but it's awesome. He sits up in bed waiting and springs up when we get up. Cute. 

The other day we woke up to hear Luk say "Kai, I don't think you should have the garbage can on your head'. That got Eric up pretty fast. I think he was worried about 'garbage'.  I know there is only bits of paper in the boy's trash. I was picturing him getting it stuck on his head.

Jia ordered a book and it came, she bought it with her own money. Shopkins mad libs. Seriously silly.  Shopkins are freaky to start with. She loves the part about adding words into the story.  On her first story one of the sentences had the words 'swinging underwear'.  So, ya, it's a big hit. She really wants to add the word bum to one now. Sigh. She reads the story to Luk and he keeps telling her 'swinging underwear' isn't funny. Along with the ad libs she has her first kootie catcher. Fei folded it for her, I wrote in harmless cute things. Pet a cat, do your homework, say something nice etc. Big stuff going on around here.  You all wish you could live here too, ha ha.  

Kai was picking little daisies and bringing then to Eric to put in his hair. 

Spring

Second to last day of spring break.  Hopefully the girls are well rested. They've had a ton of time to laze around.  None of them wants to go back to school.

It was my flex today but I went to work in the morning.  For the afternoon Eric and I took the boys to the Crofton Walk then to Dinters for fruit trees.  Two apples and a prune plum.  I think Eric is going back tomorrow for a nectarine too. 

Then he spent the afternoon digging holes.

The kids had great fun playing in the front yard. Until Luk had a purposeful tantrum that of course back fired for him.  He ended up in his room playing quietly. Jia was amusing herself and Kai went to the back yard to help Eric with the trees. He moved all of the rocks to a rock pile. He was pretty pleased with himself and he's not afraid of getting dirty.  Might be the only one of five to join Eric with his gardening.

Tonight before the boy's bedtime I took them out to check on Dad's holes. They had a great time running around. Kai loves to be chased. Then Eric moved the play house out and Kai was super thrilled about that. How cute are Kai's new undies? Miss Jia is indeed wearing the same outfit for a third day. She must really like it. 

Poo talk ahead.

Potty training is ongoing here, for both boys.  It's not going well.  It's taking so long!  Kai has told a Mandarin speaking friend that he likes the diapers and is nervous about the western toilet.  He can hold long enough to always wait for the pull up or diaper. If the weather was nicer he'd be outside and we could really wait him out. He doesn't have many accidents in his gonch.  Really just controlling by holding on until there is a diaper and alone time. We have more success with the potty versus the toilet. Problem being he's simply too big for a toddler potty.  Also because he waits, the diapers can't hold the amount he produces. Thinking we need to try adult diapers on him. So....he's four and a half, he can control things and he is voicing clearly that he wants the diapers. Suggestions?  Now with Luk, he needs to stick with diapers. He will likely never gain true control.  But...he can take part in the social aspect. He poops around 8 times a day and NEVER tells anyone.  I'm soooooo sick of poo and 4 1/2 year old poo is pretty gross. Especially after he's peed and sat and mooshed and shmooshed. TMI.  I get that.  But this is our new world.  Someone please tell me these boys will get it one day. I fear we'll be homeschooling because one likes diapers and the other wants to keep his poop.  Oh, and today Esmei had poop issues with her long fur so Fei and I had to help her out with a butt hair cut.  I need a poo free day! 

Gee, do you think they need sunglasses?!

If only they would wear them.

Easter

The bunny came and three little kids were pretty darn excited this morning.  Kai was all about sorting his stuff in and out of his basket.  Once the game grew to sorting Luk and Jia's baskets we moved into putting everything away around the house.  The baskets were just too much. Too funny.

After breakfast we moved onto hunting for eggs.  Kai was on it. Able to find only the ones with his name.  We did a few rounds of that in the toy room. Now Kai is ALL about his bucket of eggs.

Big girls got up at noon and missed it all.  Kinda sad.  First year they've skipped the fun.  Can't complain since they did ride the train. 

Mom and Dad were over for a visit at lunch time.

Quiet afternoon here.  Eric is cooking dinner. Luk and Jia are playing downstairs and Kai is drawing on the Aqua Doodle Cube with me.  Big girls are hiding, likely in their rooms.

Forest Museum and Train

The Easter Train is running.  We bought an extended family pass today, so we get unlimited visits to the train this year.

It's not the best park in town but it's ok and more importantly it's clean and they have popcorn.  So I think we'll go often.  Plus there is a train. Kai was over the top excited and a bit scared to ride that train.  I don't think there will be a problem getting him back there ;)  Luk still really, really likes the train too. 

Today they got to make bunny ears and get eggs from the scavenger hunt.  We've been there so often we just told Jia where the objects to find were.  She was the only on interested in the 'hunt'.  The boys just wanted the chocolate eggs. 

Waiting to go wasn't so bad.

Getting nervous saying goodbye to the station master.

Moving and genuinely concerned.

Check out the cute top!

Smiles all around!

We get to see this little stinker face fairly often ;)

She made them but would only wear them long enough for the photo.

I scored Fei's ears.

We're both pretty proud of our ears.