Life Goals

 

Keep your eyes peeled.

Fei and I need these.  OK, it's really just me, but she will like them too.

But did we die?

 

Granite Dunes.

A wish list for wheelers.  Not us though, we hadn't even heard of it.

The four hour trail took 9.5.  Covered a whole whopping 12.5 kms.  Haha.  

Carnage.

We were in way over our head.  We were not ready, or worthy.  

Oscar as per usual did amazing things.  At one point Eric quietly said "oh shit" while studying the next obstacle.  That filled me with complete dread.  

I had to close my eyes and slump into recovery mode a few times while doing some heavy mantra praying.

Eric was leaping out constantly.  As were others.  So much great teamwork out there.

On one stop we were off camber and I was being held hanging in the seat belt.  For way too long.  Alone. I almost cried.  Almost.

Tons of spotting required.

I think the group should do a checklist of the carnage.  At least 7 mirrors were destroyed.  I heard it described as tree pin ball.  Accurate.  Bumper and fender damage.  Two license plates.  One diesel fuel filter smacked.  One diesel leak.  Eric to the rescue so Oscar needs a desmelling.  Ew.

I mean, just why.  Why would this be fun for anyone?  

Where there are no roads and everything is slick from the rain.

Oscar looked great in his Halloween Finery.

Always great to be done with the hard stuff and onto food ;)

Of course hours late, me in a low and snarfeling everything in the cooler.

I brought deviled eggs.  Always a crowd pleaser.  I put the filling in there.  Haha.  I can't imagine the mess they would have been after the jostling of the trail.  We were in serious off camber situations.  I hate feeling like we're tipping.

This Jeep is female driven, it's an Onyx twin.  She was amazing.  Her Jeep was amazing.  It was one of the two most capable ones there.  I will NEVER abuse Onyx in this manner but it was exhilarating to watch her reign supreme out there and know my Onyx has the same ability.

What road?  Where?  How?

I leaped out for this one.

I think we were 8 Jks, 2 Jl's, 1 older Wranger, 1 Suzuki, 1 funky Euro build and 1 Bronco.  14 is a lot when so much spotting and winching is involved.

We were too late off the trail to get to the Halloween parade.  I was sad about that.  I guess Onyx will be Minnie Mouse next year.  We just scooted home.  A hot tub for me and straight to bed.

I have no plans today.  Jammies and snacking and napping all day.  Earned.  Totally earned.

Minnie Mouse

 

Swoon.

I mean, does it get better than twinning with your car?

Oscar the Grouch

 

Look what Eric did.

He bought a white plastic garbage can and painted it silver.

Getting ready for Saturday.  We're doing an all day Creepers Jeepers Run in Sooke and then the Halloween parade in Sydney.  

He has more decorating to do.

My plan was for Onyx to wear Minnie Mouse ears.  However, I would have to park her in Sooke for the day and I'm not completely comfortable with that yet.  We'll see how I feel about it at 6am on Saturday.  

We bought a house for Finn to use in the living room.  Sassy claimed it first ;)  Finn went in once and backed right out.  He has one upstairs that he goes in so there is hope.  We're noticing he's shivering so I thought the house would help.  He loves when I put a blankie on him but he doesn't seem able to get himself buried in it on his own.

The robot, thingy thing continues to grow at school.

We had our meet and greet with the kids new family Dr.  One hour and 20 minutes and I'm still processing.  I'm feeling a bit traumatized.  We go day by day here.  Spilling it all in a list to a stranger about each of the three is a LOT.  The doctor was quite distressed that we don't have home care for Kai. He is looking into setting something up even though the 10 plus times he brought it up I stressed no thankyou. His opinion without knowing us is that we will have caretaker burnout and something needs to be in place. I tried a few times to explain that help is usually not actually helpful.  That having strangers in the house isn't comfortable or peaceful for any of us.  That caretakers change often and each one would need training which is quite frankly more work than just doing things ourselves.  As a family none of us can even think of what a worker here would even do for or with Kai.  Certainly nothing that would be helpful.  Perhaps fun activities for Kai but since his entire world is play based does he really need more strangers to play with him.  Isn't school and social group with the ever changing staff enough?

Anyways.

Then to Jia, he has the list of everyone Jia has seen and we still have no answers and everyone involved has given us a different diagnosis or opinion.  School teachers, counselors, principles, child youth and mental health help line, intake person, therapist, child psychiatrist, mental health Duncan, mental health nurse Vic General, emergency mental health Doctor Victoria and adult psychiatrist, Children's Hospital mental health department, well meaning friends, the pediatrician and mental health help lines.  Plus a few councilors while searching for help.  ALL of them with a diagnosis or opinion based on very little.  ALL of them different.  Seriously, no two the same, most not even close.  Then this new doctor without meeting Jia handed me another diagnosis, a different one and offered meds.  Grrrrrrr.

I will not medicate a child without a diagnosis that makes sense. Period.

At this point, Jia will absolutely have to be the one to seek answers.  The demand avoidance is so strong that me insisting on therapy is a mistake we won't make again.  The sad and unfortunate part here is that Jia at this age is in charge of Jia and the decision making skills are really low.  Are Eric and I happy about that?  No, of course not but we're out of options.  If we keep the peace and allow Jia freedom of choice then things are calm and easy around here and we can all enjoy peaceful relationships.  Is it ideal, nope, not at all.  Do I hate seeing Jia not go to school?  You bet, it makes me crazy.  Jia however goes to work willingly.  Where Jia is loved, appreciated, compensated with tons of dopamine, fun and a paycheque. School can't compete with that.

For Luk the doctor is just alarmed to hear that he naps after school.  He doesn't seem to understand paralysis and how hard Luk is working just to keep up.  Sigh.  There is considerably more paper trail on Luk so not as many questions asked.

I retreated for the weekend.  Feeling a bit beat up.  Advocating is HARD.  We all at this house know our lives aren't fitting a normal description but it's our normal and we prefer pretending our limits and challenges are actually normal.  

Now add that our house insurance is up for review and it went up an additional $2200 for the year.  There were also some weird requests revolving around the wood stove insert.  As well as what type of water lines we have.  The insurance company wants a wet inspection on the 19 year old wood stove to see if it was installed correctly.  Of course it was.  We have an inspection appointment for next week.  They also want proof with a receipt that the chimney is cleaned each year.  We don't even use the fireplace.  It's been many years years since we lit a fire.  Sigh.  It's the wrong time of year, the sweeps are booking out to January.  He have a  chimney broom.  Eric has always done it himself, I mean it's not rocket science but nope, has to be by a professional.  We had a plumber  come yesterday to confirm the lines and of course we have the wrong kind so for now we're stuck with keeping the same insurance company as the other  companies won't insure us.  It's been frustrating.  I don't understand why the insurance company has dropped the woodstove information from our file, changed my birthdate and changed the square footage of the house.  Once we corrected a few things the upcharge dropped to a $1400 increase.  I don't love that but it does include a second kitchen for Mom and the value we're covered for in total loss went up significantly.  

On the upside, the plumber that came for a $50 assessment is able to take on the gas and plumbing job for the apartment while updating the lines at the same time and sent a quote already.  

I had a wee bookkeeping problem that I haven't been able to find or figure out for three weeks and yesterday I sat down and focused and it's finally sorted.  It was stupid.  I was able to focus because I was desperate to stop thnking about all the other issues of the day.

Onyx leaked and filled the passenger foot well with water.  Oh no!  There is a heater in there now.  Jeeps have drain plugs.  Haha.  I know she is able to handle the water but I still hate it.  I'm wondering if I should ask Eric to put the hard top back on for winter.

Eric had his current tires mounted on his old rims on Tuesday so his rims are ready.  His lift is arriving today.  We just ordered a back bumper/tire carrier combo today.  So the Oscar project is happening slowly.

Eric is going gangbusters in the closet, the drywall is almost done. He had most of the supplies here for the project already.  It's cost very little.  During the insurance review we were asked about the obvious renovation in the picture.  I said, well, the closet is still a closet, just added a dormer window.  We were told we need to inform the insurance company about all renovations.  Really?  There are so many over 20 years. I did say I didn't think this would change the value of the home.  She disagreed and in the end the difference in  coverage went from 1.2 million to 1.8 million, so now we're joking that Eric is building a $600 hundred thousand dollar closet.  

I'll get over the insurance stuff soon. I hope.  It has enveloped a few days though and it won't be sorted for a while.

Oh, and I got a procedure date with the colorectal surgeon. Dec 5.  No details yet.  I'm ignoring thinking about this for now.  Eric asked if he had to be there.  Uh, yes please, going under, won't be driving.  

Off the soapbox for today.

You should check on your friends with special needs kids, apparently we're all burnt out and need help.

5am wake up call.

 

Sirens.  Then loud pounding on the neighbors door, Police yelling "Police, come downstairs".  Yelling and more yelling.  Eric, Fei, Jia and I went to the porch to see.  Eric said someone is being arrested.  We're too far to hear much.  The police are questioning how many bedrooms, who is in the house.  A 2nd Police car arrived.  We've all just gone back to bed.  The drama is still unfolding.  Lots of car doors opening and closing.  It will be hard to get back to sleep. Scary stuff. 

It's hard to see in the dark.  Walter spends a lot of time in their yard, hopefully he's hiding.

Morning update.  Three flatbeds have arrived at 7:30am.  Lights flashing.

Not your normal everyday moment.  What the heck are we living beside?

Eric went to go see.

Five cop cars, three flatbeds.  They're taking all the vehicles.  Eric asked what was happening, he was told a warrant was issued.

Critter lallygagging.

 

Only in October and the school routine has exhausted Luk.  He keeps up all day at school and then we often wake him up for dinner ;)  Kai has taken a different approach, he naps at school.  Not kidding.

What a Gentleman, so demure.

Eric has Kai at speech.  My schedule is clear until 2 when I have three Dr appointments for the kids.  I'm not feeling motivated to get anything done after a busy day yesterday so I'm lallygagging watching Bo the beaver eat cantaloupe, Mars the pygmy hippo be adorable and Rico the porcupine get scritches.

Yesterday was mostly free, I asked Eric what his plans were, he listed off 20 chores.  I then said his most favorite words "or, we could go tire shopping".  Haha.  We did a dump run then took off to suss out tires.  First place had none.  2nd place came through, he was inside for a couple minutes and came out saying they were ordered and would be in next week.  So that was super exciting.  Oscar will be one of the big boys soon sporting 37's. It also means another lift, new fenders and a new tire holder for the back. Possibly regearing, wheel wells, chopping the rock rails and new bumpers.  The price of beauty.  Oh and this will mean Kai and I will HAVE to use a step to get in.

Eric is happy.  I'm happy for Eric.

We will keep Oscar's current tires for Onyx since they're the right size and I definitely don't want bigger.

The tire purchase happened way faster than expected so we had some free time, we went to Chemainus, picked up some of his tools from Al.  Went to the thrift store and had lunch out before I went to pick up the boys and take Kai to his playgroup. 

Mom and Eric met a window guy at the house for a quote.  Oy.  Way pricier than expected.  Then I dropped some donated supplies off to someone in town.  We need to clear out the basement.  Picked up Kai and stopped for tinned soup because we were running out of time to make the planned homemade soup.  Soup for Lili as she had some dental work done.  

Why are we always out of time?!

My Saturday plans were canceled.  So Eric and I are hoping to use the time to figure out Oscar and Onyx Halloween decorations for the 25th.  Oscar is doing a Creep trail run in Sooke and both are doing the Sydney Halloween parade that night. Provided Oscar is running properly after his giant tires go on.  Eric wants a small silver garbage can to put on the front of Oscar and he wants to make green furry Oscar hands/paws? coming out of the can.  Onyx is wearing Minnie Mouse Ears.  Most of the supplies and plan are good, I just need fabric for the bow. This is the fun stuff.

Jia's Gotcha

 

Oct 10.  We bought a bunch of seafood and ate dinner at home.  It was very low key.

Today I drove Jia to school to pick up some work.  We are having an  extremely difficult time getting Jia to willingly go to school so today was a big win.  We brought home a pile of projects to work on at home.  I have low expectation but there was some surprising talk of future careers that was encouraging.  We ate a late lunch out, picked up the boys, dropped them at home and headed back to town to hit Best Buy so Jia could upgrade her gaming gear.  The paychecks are healthy and Jia definitely enjoys the spending part ;)

Our first morning together. 15 years ago.  Feels like a zillion years ago and at the same time just a few months ago.

Happy Gotcha Jia!