Luk

Luk
Our family.

Thursday, October 23, 2025

Oscar the Grouch

 

Look what Eric did.
He bought a white plastic garbage can and painted it silver.
Getting ready for Saturday.  We're doing an all day Creepers Jeepers Run in Sooke and then the Halloween parade in Sydney.  

He has more decorating to do.
My plan was for Onyx to wear Minnie Mouse ears.  However, I would have to park her in Sooke for the day and I'm not completely comfortable with that yet.  We'll see how I feel about it at 6am on Saturday.  
We bought a house for Finn to use in the living room.  Sassy claimed it first ;)  Finn went in once and backed right out.  He has one upstairs that he goes in so there is hope.  We're noticing he's shivering so I thought the house would help.  He loves when I put a blankie on him but he doesn't seem able to get himself buried in it on his own.

The robot, thingy thing continues to grow at school.

We had our meet and greet with the kids new family Dr.  One hour and 20 minutes and I'm still processing.  I'm feeling a bit traumatized.  We go day by day here.  Spilling it all in a list to a stranger about each of the three is a LOT.  The doctor was quite distressed that we don't have home care for Kai. He is looking into setting something up even though the 10 plus times he brought it up I stressed no thankyou. His opinion without knowing us is that we will have caretaker burnout and something needs to be in place. I tried a few times to explain that help is usually not actually helpful.  That having strangers in the house isn't comfortable or peaceful for any of us.  That caretakers change often and each one would need training which is quite frankly more work than just doing things ourselves.  As a family none of us can even think of what a worker here would even do for or with Kai.  Certainly nothing that would be helpful.  Perhaps fun activities for Kai but since his entire world is play based does he really need more strangers to play with him.  Isn't school and social group with the ever changing staff enough?
Anyways.

Then to Jia, he has the list of everyone Jia has seen and we still have no answers and everyone involved has given us a different diagnosis or opinion.  School teachers, counselors, principles, child youth and mental health help line, intake person, therapist, child psychiatrist, mental health Duncan, mental health nurse Vic General, emergency mental health Doctor Victoria and adult psychiatrist, Children's Hospital mental health department, well meaning friends, the pediatrician and mental health help lines.  Plus a few councilors while searching for help.  ALL of them with a diagnosis or opinion based on very little.  ALL of them different.  Seriously, no two the same, most not even close.  Then this new doctor without meeting Jia handed me another diagnosis, a different one and offered meds.  Grrrrrrr.
I will not medicate a child without a diagnosis that makes sense. Period.
At this point, Jia will absolutely have to be the one to seek answers.  The demand avoidance is so strong that me insisting on therapy is a mistake we won't make again.  The sad and unfortunate part here is that Jia at this age is in charge of Jia and the decision making skills are really low.  Are Eric and I happy about that?  No, of course not but we're out of options.  If we keep the peace and allow Jia freedom of choice then things are calm and easy around here and we can all enjoy peaceful relationships.  Is it ideal, nope, not at all.  Do I hate seeing Jia not go to school?  You bet, it makes me crazy.  Jia however goes to work willingly.  Where Jia is loved, appreciated, compensated with tons of dopamine, fun and a paycheque. School can't compete with that.

For Luk the doctor is just alarmed to hear that he naps after school.  He doesn't seem to understand paralysis and how hard Luk is working just to keep up.  Sigh.  There is considerably more paper trail on Luk so not as many questions asked.

I retreated for the weekend.  Feeling a bit beat up.  Advocating is HARD.  We all at this house know our lives aren't fitting a normal description but it's our normal and we prefer pretending our limits and challenges are actually normal.  

Now add that our house insurance is up for review and it went up an additional $2200 for the year.  There were also some weird requests revolving around the wood stove insert.  As well as what type of water lines we have.  The insurance company wants a wet inspection on the 19 year old wood stove to see if it was installed correctly.  Of course it was.  We have an inspection appointment for next week.  They also want proof with a receipt that the chimney is cleaned each year.  We don't even use the fireplace.  It's been many years years since we lit a fire.  Sigh.  It's the wrong time of year, the sweeps are booking out to January.  He have a  chimney broom.  Eric has always done it himself, I mean it's not rocket science but nope, has to be by a professional.  We had a plumber  come yesterday to confirm the lines and of course we have the wrong kind so for now we're stuck with keeping the same insurance company as the other  companies won't insure us.  It's been frustrating.  I don't understand why the insurance company has dropped the woodstove information from our file, changed my birthdate and changed the square footage of the house.  Once we corrected a few things the upcharge dropped to a $1400 increase.  I don't love that but it does include a second kitchen for Mom and the value we're covered for in total loss went up significantly.  

On the upside, the plumber that came for a $50 assessment is able to take on the gas and plumbing job for the apartment while updating the lines at the same time and sent a quote already.  

I had a wee bookkeeping problem that I haven't been able to find or figure out for three weeks and yesterday I sat down and focused and it's finally sorted.  It was stupid.  I was able to focus because I was desperate to stop thnking about all the other issues of the day.

Onyx leaked and filled the passenger foot well with water.  Oh no!  There is a heater in there now.  Jeeps have drain plugs.  Haha.  I know she is able to handle the water but I still hate it.  I'm wondering if I should ask Eric to put the hard top back on for winter.

Eric had his current tires mounted on his old rims on Tuesday so his rims are ready.  His lift is arriving today.  We just ordered a back bumper/tire carrier combo today.  So the Oscar project is happening slowly.

Eric is going gangbusters in the closet, the drywall is almost done. He had most of the supplies here for the project already.  It's cost very little.  During the insurance review we were asked about the obvious renovation in the picture.  I said, well, the closet is still a closet, just added a dormer window.  We were told we need to inform the insurance company about all renovations.  Really?  There are so many over 20 years. I did say I didn't think this would change the value of the home.  She disagreed and in the end the difference in  coverage went from 1.2 million to 1.8 million, so now we're joking that Eric is building a $600 hundred thousand dollar closet.  

I'll get over the insurance stuff soon. I hope.  It has enveloped a few days though and it won't be sorted for a while.

Oh, and I got a procedure date with the colorectal surgeon. Dec 5.  No details yet.  I'm ignoring thinking about this for now.  Eric asked if he had to be there.  Uh, yes please, going under, won't be driving.  

Off the soapbox for today.

You should check on your friends with special needs kids, apparently we're all burnt out and need help.