Health update.

 

The day started pretty rough.  I was up at 2am.  Very dizzy and hungry.  Eric helped me down and settled me with snacks.  It was a long day.  My area has some local freezing.  I'm assuming.  I can't feel some areas.  Movements are VERY painful. I did manage a bath this morning.  I will do a toilet hat for a sitz before bed.  I used the peri anal squeeze bottle through the day and it works really quite well.  The surgeon said there was a gauze pad inside that would come out with a movement.  It did not.  Fei said pull it.  That sounds too scary.  For part of the day I was incontinent.  The dizzy wore off around dinner time. It was severe.  My whole goal of the day was to not fall down. The incontinence seems to have passed thank God. It was  perhaps due to swelling.  If this is too much for ya'll, you might need to either toughen up or skip on past.  This will be the new reality.

Being incontinent for a few hours was scary.  If that is what chemo and radiation will do to me then it was a good awakening to my thoughts towards a stoma and bag.  The bag would definitely be preferable to incontinence. 

I haven't needed a pain killer yet.

Not every one is enjoying my humor on all of this.  This is HARD stuff.  But please remember I have fistulizing Chrones.  Worst case scenario.  I have a history of perforation.  If I were to perforate death can actually happen within hours.  I have lived for years and years and years with this knowledge.  I do consider that with everything we do, how close are hospitals and are there flights home.  Luk and I both need to be able to get help quickly were things to go south.

You would go insane if you stay in that mindset.  So we are mindful, but then carry on and live our lives.  I see cancer as the same.  I'm decently healthy for a sick person with several co-morbidities.  I was born pre-mature.  I had body parts in the wrong place.  No one checked those things out 60 years ago.  I didn't find out until I was really sick in my early 30s.

I have people saying I should have known there was cancer.  Nope.  The symptoms are the same as ibs, colitis, Chrones, colectomy and fistulas.  How would I have distinguished?  The same issues for 22 years!  I had them all and they were considered normal for me.  I was with the surgeon to talk about the fistula that has been more troublesome for six years.  She didn't even want to do the scope saying that she could possibly make things worse.  I pushed for the scope.  It was dumb luck that the cancer was found.  Dr's considered my symptoms normal for my conditions.  

Things are much improved tonight.  I haven't napped today.  Too busy taking care of my butt.  Answering questions.  Chatting with some.  Texting with others. I also finished a captivating book I needed to get to the end of.  

Eric was around.  He did the brakes on the Commander.  Oh, oh, and Jia packed today.  Whoa.  I'm soooo glad my desk was cleared, personal paperwork all taken care of and packing done because I sure wasn't ok enough to do any of it today.

Lili was here for dinner and she wanted to plan our Shawn Cassidy trip.  We are going to Hullo over and use the bus to our hotel.  The hotel is beside the theater and there is an Italian restaurant behind the hotel that she says is good. In the morning she has added us going to The Bunny Cafe before we head home.  So that's exciting.  With all things now...all hinging on appointments and availability.