Luk

Luk
Our family.

Friday, August 4, 2017

In other news.

We're having an icky week.

Kai has been out of sorts since the loss of the toy room.  Getting worse as we go.  Sliding behavior and this last week even resorting back to defiantly peeing on purpose when he is mad or jealous.

After a year of being potty trained I can't tell you how disappointed we are that this is the behavior he's reverted to.  He is six next month.  I've been trying to read about defiant peeing and it's not good.  Considered deviant.  Connected to mental illness.  Common with kids who have had multiple care givers and who've been adopted. Way too many stories from Mama's with teen boys ruining everything. We need this stopped as soon as possible.

The line in the sand has been drawn.  It's being made clear after a week of this that it HAS to stop.  So far he's only done it at home and he's only peed on his things.  Versus him peeing on everything of Luk's last year when he was doing this. 

I've told him one more incident and he's getting diapers and the super yard XT.  Giant play pen.  He says NO to those things and seems unhappy about the prospect.

We're trying to catch him before he gets mad.  Sticking close at the trigger moments. 

Trigger moments are mostly incredibly stupid like upset that Luk is brushing his teeth first.  Even though Kai was in the bathroom ahead of Luk but didn't think to do his teeth.  He doesn't even know how to brush his teeth. 

Upset that Jia told Fei that Luk had her pen.  Ya' ... that level of insane.

So, we're not having fun with this phase. No picture taking going on.

The other trigger is every single time he isn't first.  So this week's work for all of us is making absolutely SURE Kai doesn't get anything first.  He cries every time and we need to break his thinking on this one.  School can not continue to cater to this need to be first and they really want him to cry less at school. 

I do give him dinner first every night because if he's not first he cries.  So this week he's last.  Getting his plate with Eric.  It's not going well but he isn't sobbing alligator tears any more just sits and pouts on the verge of tears.  I worry he thinks he's not getting food.  Even though he's clearly not been deprived of food.  We feed him six times a day.  Makes me wonder if it's really always been about being first.

We're assuming he likes the attention.  Good or bad.  The sad thing is out of our five kids he already gets the lions share of our time. 

Anyone ever have a kid who liked peeing on things when mad?  Advice please.  We need help.  It's a big issue.  I know I'll likely hear from a bleeding heart about over sharing and privacy for Kai and him needing more nurturing.  I assure you he is nurtured. He is loved.  We do consider his needs. And we really, really need him to stop peeing on things on purpose.  It's just a whole other level of gross.

Also the fires in BC are still raging and the smoke is here so we're mostly inside because of poor air quality.  Which sucks.  And it's hot out.  Super hot.  We're just not used to such heat here. 

The insurance claim still isn't settled.  Eric is just moving forward.  Rebuilding the frame, post and beams.  Pulling miles of wires out.  Next he's doing the ceiling tile frame work and wiring for l.e.d. pot lights.  Thinking of changing the color on the walls.  Voting hasn't been done yet but it's looking like butter cream is the big girls choice.  I limited them to yellows, blue (as it already is) greens or off white shades.